Abbey-Roads2

Fresco: Fra Angelico

“St.s Cosmas and Damian miraculously restoring the leg of a client. “

I was at the doctor again today - more precisely in the hospital for tests - almost all day! Yesterday I spent the morning getting x-rays and other test stuff. In my first post for Abbey-Roads I discussed this scenario - being shuffled around to various doctors. Today I found out I was wrong about my self-diagnosis - there are things happening with my heart and vascular system that are more serious than I had anticipated. Nothing requiring hospitalization or surgery - everything can still be managed with medication. I’ll know more for sure next week when I go back for my follow up. Needless to say more tests will be ordered - there’s more wrong with me.

I protest to everyone I am not worried about this stuff but I was awake all night thinking about end of life issues; I love drama don’t I? People make fun of me probably because I joke so much about it, and it is actually better for me not to take things so seriously. Nevertheless, it is really such a pain to go through all of the hoops doctors make you jump through. But I remind myself I can offer it all up. I also hate having to report to others what is wrong with me. Everyone thinks they know better than the doctors or know a better doctor, or know better than I do how to take care of my health. Oh well - humiliation is good for the soul. You soon realize however how deeply people are in denial. They don’t really want to listen to someone, even after they ask about your health, instead they jump into the conversation with their remedies or their own experiences. Soon the offer of prayers and other protestations that the doctors should be doing more come along. Then the psychic prediction, “Oh you’re going to be all right.” Speaking for myself, the only prayers I want are for a happy and holy death, and there really aren’t going to be any remedies.

I better watch what I say!

Call me naive but I never really thought many people would read my blogs. A dear young friend of mine told me he wouldn’t be interested and no one else his age would be either. So I thought very few other people would read it. I started Abbey-Roads as sort of therapy for myself - to say “out loud” if you will, whatever I think.

When I was little my mother told me I was “pen-happy” because I liked to write letters, stories, and journals. She found out everything about me in this way and strangely enough, she never really liked me. (It was not a very nurturing home.) Nevertheless, it never stopped me from writing. It’s very cool that people read this.

What a surprise that Fr. Zuhlsdorf read one of my postings! He wrote a very kind correction to me regarding my post about the cult effect at St. Agnes. He is correct that I should have been better informed about some things. For instance, I had known about Militia Christi, my criticism arose from a member of the same group who told me he does not attend the meetings because “It seems to me they are more interested in processions and dressing up than anything else.” Hence, my misunderstanding of the cape thing.

The ” no women” in the sacristy rule actually was something a person told me about in the past. Although when Angela Barrett had her farewell Mass (A going away Mass celebrated for her intentions as she prepared to enter Carmel, where this Saturday she is making her final profession.) at Nativity in St. Paul, the pastor and the assistant pastor, as well as the liturgist were told that they did not want this - women in the sacristy that is. A couple of the people insisting upon this rule were from St. Agnes. I should have known that fact did not make it a policy at St. Agnes, again, my mistake.

I also want to add that there is indeed many good works of charity practiced at St. Agnes. There is and always has been outreach to the poor, the missions, and social events that raise money for the parish and all the work they do. Sr. Julia and some of the sisters in the past have done, and still do a great deal of good. The school is one of the finest works, and there are generous provisions for children who can not afford tuition. The contribution of Monsignor and the wonderful tradition of fine music and excellent liturgy is enormous. It’s a very fine parish. And now a new chapter in it’s history is unfolding.