Abbey-Roads2

“That I die because I do not die.” - John of the Cross.

Pictured, “St. Sebastian” by Mimmo Rotella

I have often painted St. Sebastian, who had been shot with arrows, left to die, only to be revived and submit himself for martyrdom again. In a sense, for me, he became an allegory for what happens to a person who has been sexually abused in childhood. The image shown here by Rotella, is particularly poignant since the saint is visible only as an outline, his body simply a shell, his identity obscured.

Speaking to a friend who had been abused and degraded as a child, we discussed the issue of identity, self image, and dissociative experience. Oftentimes, at the moment of violence, the victim removes herself mentally from the actions being performed upon her. This can result in a dissociative personality disorder that endures throughout one’s life. Or, it can be simply a coping mechanism that does not become pathological. Then again, the person may so identify with the personality they either invented or embraced, they become conditioned to accept it as being their true identity. In such a case, this new, safe identity helps them to navigate through life, unknown to outsiders.

My friend is going through great passages of self-knowledge and acceptance, experiencing a wonderful freedom of spirit. At times however, the wounds reopen and she goes through difficult times dealing with the hurt, the pain, and the anger - as well as the lonely sense of isolation that is the result of having one’s self-image disfigured by abuse. I mentioned my concept of St. Sebastian, having died in a sense, only to be revived, yet the stigmata of his wounds remaining. However it is a long, difficult process of healing that one must go through. Something someone cannot just “get over”.

I compared it to the mystery of the saints who actually had the stigmata, which would open and bleed on Fridays and feasts of the passion. In similar fashion, I believe the person who has been abused, while on the road of recovery, perhaps all of their lives, will periodically relive the event with all it’s pain and suffering - only now, like the stigmatist, the person may have a better awareness of who they are and what happened to them and what the pain means. In a sense, the suffering becomes redemptive and healing. (This is best accomplished if the person prays and frequents the sacraments, as my friend does.) Nevertheless, no outsider can ever understand the person’s interior martyrdom of spirit. They die because they do not die.

Abuse is a terrible crime against a child, it kills the spirit in a manner, it devastates the identity. The person’s resurrection from this death is difficult, although often taking a lifetime, it is not impossible. Oftentimes we mistake others behavior, even their sinful life, as a willful moral failing. To be sure, sin is sin, yet I have met prostitutes and promiscuous people, as well as homosexuals, whom I believe are living in such a way as to assuage their pain. Often victims of sexual abuse or some other trauma, they adopt an identity or way of acting that alleviates their misery, or in the worst case scenario, they are living out the personality they adopted after the degrading assault or trauma they experienced. They self-fullfil the prophecy that seemingly damned them to make such a choice, albeit, not a choice made in complete freedom. Many alcoholics do the same thing. It’s not a satisfactory remedy however.

Remember to pray for the living dead.

While on the subject of hostile work environments, I came across this…

On this day in history:

1773 - America’s first insane asylum opens for ‘Persons of Insane and Disordered Minds’ in Virginia.

Do we still have asylums? Or is everyone now prescribed medications and turned out on the street?

Pride of Place.

“Consider that the rite of Mass, with its texts and rubrics, both reflects the Church’s Faith and undergirds the Church’s Faith. Lex orandi – lex credendi … the way the Church prays has a reciprocal relationship with what she believes. If we believe certain things, we will pray in a certain way. If we pray a certain way, we will more strongly hold to certain things.” - Fr. Zuhlsdorf

News reports are attempting to confirm what has been rumored for months now, the Holy Father is expected to sign an universal indult for the Tridentine Mass to be celebrated freely throughout the Catholic world. From what I understand it will be on equal footing with the reformed Mass known as the Novus Ordo. Although I thought it always enjoyed this status, it just wasn’t generally permitted for the sake of establishing the reformed rite as the norm.

It will not surprise anyone that I am no scholar on the subject. I’m very happy with the Mass of Paul VI as it is celebrated at the Church of St. Agnes in St. Paul, Minnesota. It is offered in the traditional style - much like the Tridentine Mass pictured here. I grew up with the Traditional Mass and was an altar boy. We learned Mass Latin in Catholic grade school, as well as practised Gregorian chant; my favorite was the Mass of the Blessed Virgin.

When I returned to the Church in the early ’70’s, the Mass was in the vernacular, which I loved as well. I was fortunate to have returned to daily Mass in a Church that never turned the altar around, thus the Mass differed little from the old rite in that respect. I guess I was always graced with a somewhat contemplative approach towards liturgy irrespective of form. My focus was always upon the Eucharistic sacrifice and presence of Christ. I never had much awareness of the rubrics, except when I encountered blatant abuses. As a layman, I learned to avoid liturgies that were badly celebrated.

My seminarian friends would often get into discussions about liturgy, that was their vocation, I was more interested in prayer. As a novice in the monastery, I never talked to anyone, so the topic never arose. Though the liturgy had been reformed, no one celebrated liturgy as well as contemplative monks. Perhaps after leaving monastic life I became more aware of the liturgical crises, yet found places where the Mass was celebrated well.

Now days, with many lay folk studying theology and going to Rome for studies, it seems the average person knows a great deal about liturgy. I hear many discussions about it where I work. Not a few are very excited about the indult predicted to be granted. Again, I know little about the details, but this is one of those times Fr. Zuhlsdorf comes in handy. Of course he has a very good grasp on the subject. Go to “What Does The Prayer Really Say” for his take on it all.

Sick and tired of it.

Did you ever get whomped by a cold? I did yesterday evening. Yesterday was a day off for me and I awakened earlier than usual with energy to burn - I got a lot done with time in between to waste on this blog. At suppertime I felt it - I zoned out - it felt like one of those near-death experiences people describe where they are outside their body observing themselves. (I’m so dramatic, aren’t I?) During the night it came on full strength, joint aches, streaming sinuses, pounding headache, fever, chills. (The sinus thing has been stalking me for over a week.) Naturally I stayed home this morning and slept until 2PM. Of course I called in around 7AM to let everyone at work know I wouldn’t be there. I called again this afternoon to tell them I’d probably be there tomorrow.

The ‘office’ doesn’t like it when your are out with just a cold. Not much a person can do about a cold when you’re knocked out by it however. I think everyone feels guilty when they are out ill - like they are letting down the people they team with. I feel guilty that I gave into my human weakness - the idea I might be saving someone from infection isn’t much consolation. Now that I’m out of bed this afternoon, I started to reflect upon a talk I had with a couple of members of management about avoiding a negative culture in the workplace.

Since I work for a Catholic company with Catholics of diverse theological opinions, as well as expectations of one another, boundaries can sometimes be blurred for the sake of a higher cause - all in the spirit of fraternal correction of course. Although this is amongst the employees and not a management style per se. In other words - the employees can get themselves into some pretty heated discussions. Forgetting the wisdom of never discussing religion or politics in public, some people frequently stir the pot of controversy. The lunch room can sometimes resemble British Parliament on a feisty day. It contributes to a negative culture - or - perhaps it mirrors a negative culture already in place.

Friends I know who work for smaller family owned companies tell me they have similar difficulties in their workplace that they have to address. Of course it happens in large companies as well - yet they have the relatively neutral HR department to handle matters the supervisor or department head finds out of his/her capabilities. I’ll reflect on some other difficulties in the workplace my friends in other companies have discussed with me.

Every office is going to be infected with gossip and backbiting duplicity, but I think it can be arrested to a certain degree with a clear company policy. Take for instance an over-achieving employee constantly complaining about employees in other departments not pulling their weight. Sometimes the snitch is correct, sometimes the person may not know that the person being complained about has another assigned task they are working on, or something totally outside the normal job description that needs to be done. Sounds like a communication problem on one hand, as well as a boundary issue on the other.

On the other hand, it might be of some help to discourage the complaining party to refrain from constant complaints, while affirming that person’s work ethic and encouraging greater team work and cooperation. Oftentimes the over achievers take on too much without allowing team mates to do the same job, believing the co-workers efforts do not meet their personal standards or pace. Despite the fact that one person may do the work of two or three in a day, if their attitude affects the morale and productivity of others, that person can become a liability.

More often than not the over-achievers take on more than asked. What do you do when there are two of them - even three - and they butt heads - on a daily basis? Especially when one of them oversteps department lines. If you talk to them about it, or bring it to their attention - things sometimes get worse. Being valuable and productive employees, the company surely wants to keep them, even when they threaten to quit because they feel they are being unfairly singled out. I can’t help but suspect there is something of a power struggle going on in these events. A currying of favor. Again, someone may becoming a liability. It’s a hard one to call.

What about the abusive supervisor who has it in for a team mate who happens to be a direct report? Ignoring the employee who reports to that supervisor except to give orders and jump in critically when a mistake is made. Using public reprimand and humiliation, and getting away with it, as a means to excuse one’s deficient management abilities. What about the same supervisor complaining about that employee to anyone who will listen, insisting the employee is stupid and incompetent, while playing the blame game for work not getting done? It impacts the negative culture, if not creating an atmosphere for a hostile work environment.

Of course there are the slackers - yet that seems easier to address than the rest of these issues. Maybe they are not being utilized to their best potential and need greater motivation? Some, to be sure, are there just to collect a pay check. Again, there is a way to deal with that - that is what supervisors are for - sometimes you have to babysit. Sometimes people may have to be encouraged to find a new job.

The point in all of this is this, negative culture usually starts at the top - or a least it is tolerated there - even if by ignoring it. It’s business 101, if you will. When management doesn’t consider employees as team members, even partners in the business, while never placing any trust in them, it gradually trickles down and the subordinates follow their example. It evolves to a point wherein negative culture is tolerated amongst the rank and file. Eventually, it devolves to a hostile work environment. That is the time management can no longer afford to be dismissive.

Personality conflict in the workplace is a normal phenomenon - it can be a daily event - yet good supervision and equitable management intervention can keep it under control. Nevertheless, there has to be policy in place and standards for employees to abide by. Well written and clear workplace policies serve management and offers protection for the employee - so long as they are abided.

I think we get sick for a reason, oftentimes it helps us to put matters in perspective. I’ll have to discuss my insights with my friends who shared with me these issues at their workplace… (And if my friends have comments about my cold and my smoking, don’t worry, that is resolving itself.)

The Mother of God “Salus Populi Romano”

[snip] In the year 1931 a jubilee marking the fifteenth centenary of the Council of Ephesus was celebrated to the great joy of the whole Catholic world. The fathers at that Council, under the guidance of Pope Celestine, formally condemned the errors of Nestorius and declared as Catholic faith the doctrine that the Blessed Virgin Mary, who gave birth to Jesus, was truly the Mother of God. Prompted by holy zeal, Pope Pius XI determined that the memory of so important an event should continue alive in the Church. Accordingly he ordered the renovation of Rome’s famous memorial to the Council of Ephesus, namely, the triumphal arch and transept in the Basilica of St. Mary Major on the Esquiline. His predecessor Pope St. Sixtus III (432-440) had embellished that arch with a beautiful mosaic, but time had done it damage.

In an encyclical Pius XI, moreover, underscored the principal teachings of the General Council at Ephesus, developing in detail and with loving affection the singular privilege of divine Motherhood granted to the Blessed Virgin Mary. He believed that so sublime a mystery should ever become more firmly anchored in the hearts of the faithful. At the same time the Pope singled out Mary, the Mother of God and the one blessed among women together with the holy Family of Nazareth as the foremost model for the dignity and sanctity of chaste married life and for the religious education of youth. [snip] - The Church’s Year of Grace, Pius Parsch.

Pray for us O holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.