Abbey-Roads2

A documentary depicting suicides off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, by Eric Steele.

It opened in London this weekend, and not to rave reviews. I saw an interview with Eric Steele, actually a couple of them. He strikes me as very sympathetic and sincere, yet not at all voyeuristic or exploitative, but rather serious about revealing the desperation of persons seeking the final solution in their lives. In the process of filming, he and his crew did everything they could to prevent the suicides he filmed, and were indeed successful a few times.

I wonder what it is about the bridge that attracts people from around the world to end their lives there? It is beautiful, but kind of cold, yet it remains the most popular place in the world to end one’s life.

I’ve known people who have ended their lives. I never thought they were particularly neurotic or mentally ill. They just seemed to have no other alternative. One fellow struggled with alcoholism and a dead end career. Coming from a wealthy family, I know he felt as if he had failed in life. Of course he must have suffered from depression in order to kill himself, but he isolated himself, and no one could have helped him - he wouldn’t let anyone in. Evidently, life simply lost its purpose, its meaning for him.

Does anyone remember the famous French couture-model/actress, Capucine? She played opposite Peter Sellers in “Pink Panther” portraying the wife of Inspector Clousseau. Several years ago she threw herself out of a Parisian hotel window, killing herself. Audrey Hepburn said in an interview about her friend that it was because she couldn’t face growing old. - that sounds depressing.

For years we have hidden the idea of suicide, never is it mentioned in the obituaries, although you can usually tell who killed themselves when it reads, “died unexpectedly” - obit-code for suicide. We’ve heard more about it in the last few years due to the increase of teenage suicides, yet it still is rarely discussed except to say things like “what a waste” or, “what a stupid thing to do - why didn’t they ask for help?”

To answer that I would be willing to guess that the suicide thought their life was a waste as well, while they probably did try to reach out for help at various times in their life. I also think that they would agree, if we could hear them speak, that it was definitely a stupid thing to do, adding, that they would have preferred not being filmed in the act - it’s never graceful - and that is meant to be a double entendre.

Nevertheless, I believe the film is an important work in the study of suicide - although I have not viewed it, only clips. I think we need to care about the subject - more precisely, the people.

Actually, it is “All Hallows Eve”!

Pictured; “Vision of Hell” - Bosch

Many people think it’s the night the devils prowl and witches have their covens. Well it is - more so now in our ‘new age’ than ever before in the history of witchcraft. But that is not why I appreciate it - although they are good reminders for everyone that evil exists, as does hell. Nevertheless, devils and witches are out and about all of the time. Especially those devils. Just go Downtown Minneapolis when the bars close - or before - you will see evidence of the diabolical. Or read the newspapers about the murders the night before in any given area of the country - reads like the devil to me.

Driving home from Mass this morning, I admired the trees holding onto their last remaining foliage, the barren dry grasses with some greenery surviving amongst it, all along the freeway. Freeway landscape is sometimes very beautiful here in Minnesota.

When I got home, I posted a piece on the “work blog” - after which, I laid down to take my Sunday nap. The sky was overcast, allowing the leaves still clinging to the trees to show their color cloaked in somber, muted tones by the grey mist, rather than the fiery excitement of autumn leaves on a clear, crisp day. I watched them fall more quickly today, in just the slightest breeze. It was a steady stream, sometimes a few at one time, followed by a torrent, then calming to a trickle, the again repeating itself. I thought of Fatima.

Ever since I was little, the nuns told us that either Our Lady or one of the children reported, that “souls fall into hell like autumn leaves falling from their trees’. What a wonderful, yet sobering metaphor, I thought. The tree, representing life, or more accurately Christ and the Church, or just the world if you prefer - while the leaves imaging the souls living in in it. At death, detachment from this life occurs instantly, as the leaf breaks its tender tether to the branch. Thus, I imagined more easily the concept of souls falling into hell.

All Hallows invites us to reflect upon the last things and that is why I appreciate Halloween. The following day is the feast of All Saints, while the day after that is the feast of All Souls. Interchangeably we remember the dead in glory, as well as the dead in purgatory - albeit all are alive for God, as Jesus in the Gospel states, “He is the God of the living not the dead.” Hence the souls in hell are the living dead and quite an unhappy lot they are.

In his letter, St Peter says that “The devil prowls about like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” He wasn’t talking about Halloween. Sometimes I wonder if Christian parents could be making it more scary for the kids by focusing upon the dark side of Halloween, missing the fun and innocent side of it. Certainly guard the children from the occult, you have to do what you have to do.

Remember Teresa of Avila’s remark about exaggerated concerns over the devil, she said, “I don’t understand these fears. ‘The devil! The devil!’ when we can say ‘God! God!’, and make the devil tremble…I fear those who have such great fear of the devil more than I do the devil himself, for he can’t do anything to me. Whereas these others, especially if they are confessors, cause severe disturbance,” Life 25; 22 And yes, I know, St. Teresa was talking about confessors who were worried she was being deceived in prayer, but it can just as well apply to anyone else with a morbid curiosity and suspicious and fearful mind, even some modern priests who think so many are possessed.

Catholics have Christ, the Blessed Mother and the angels and the saints, the Church and the sacraments. We just have to make sure we are Catholic. Celebrate Halloween as a Catholic and pay no attention to the devil - fix your eyes on Jesus, as St. Paul writes, and appreciate Halloween for what it is - All Hallows Eve.

But do beware, the devil does prowl around - but he’s sneakier than Harry and the other witches and goblins - he’s prowling through cartoon shows, television ads, the Internet - almost everywhere - but it’s just not only on Halloween. Actually, the scary costumes were the primitive answer to scaring away the devil - not inviting him in.

Pictured, “Allegory of Injustice” Giotto, Capella Scrovegni

Off the books…

I ran into a friend of mine with whom I had lost touch a few years ago after his wife’s death from breast cancer. He is a successful businessman, having owned his small but prosperous business for years. His wife had her own successful business up until her death. They owned a house in Minneapolis, another in Florida, with one in Northern Minnesota as well as a house on the Cape. He had several vehicles, a boat and a small plane.

As I said, I lost touch with him after his wife’s death, I assumed he had rented his house here in Minneapolis and perhaps was living at the Cape. I had heard he had a new girl friend.

I always liked him, though rather wealthy, he was very down to earth and friendly. I often got the impression that his wife had been a bit snobby, impressed with status and their success, although I eventually realized that he was very proud of their accomplishments as well, nevertheless, he maintained a more humble demeanor. They had everything. Then his wife died and I never saw him much after that.

When I ran into him, after nearly four years, I barely recognized him. He resembled his old self, but he had changed. He is very thin now, rather gaunt and has lost much of his hair. In the course of our conversation I learned he is under house arrest and had been in prison for three years. I was totally shocked. He is one of the most upstanding citizens I have known, honest as the day is long. Though not religious, he has been the typical peace and justice advocate that marks so many of my generation. He always treated his employees fairly and well, often lavishly entertaining his entire company at his home several times a year.

He was so forthcoming about being in prison that in my natural candor I said, “Whatever for? What could you have done? You are not a criminal.”

He explained that the IRS and the Social Security Administration went after him for fraud. he had been paying an employee off the books - for over five years. Knowing my friend, it was probably an act of charity on his part. Then maybe not. Those questions I didn’t feel were my place to ask. He did tell me the amount of money involved was relatively small, $50,000. That’s only $10,000 a year, his bonuses were bigger than that. With fines and penalties, he lost all his luxury vehicles, the plane, and two of his houses, and the business. The business he worked all of his life to build. He said he was grateful his wife hadn’t lived to see this. One thing for certain, he is still not poor by any one’s standards, but he is a broken man.

I realized there must have been other factors involved; sleight of hand bookkeeping perhaps, maybe not reporting profits or inventory, and with the loss of property, probably some sort of tax shell-game was going on, since his one son who ran the business with him, was also convicted. I imagine that it was a series of little things that led up to the disaster. I feel really bad for him. I thought, why would someone like him have to go to prison for this? Couldn’t he have just paid the fines, having lost his business and estate, wasn’t that punishment enough? I’ve been baffled since I spoke with him nearly two weeks ago.

I’m sure he somehow justified himself in his schemes. Of course, there are some religious people who do it all of the time as well. There is a line in one of the psalms, “From my secret sins, acquit me O Lord.” My friend was a ‘wily’ manager - he kept a close eye on his employees, never trusting anyone. I wonder if his distrust of others was born of his own injustice?