Abbey-Roads2

As in, Archbishop Flynn!

Act I: Scene 2: Throwing off his ‘black hat’ the heroic Archbishop valiantly steps into the arena - as defender of the Faith, in an unusual public protest against that idiotic ‘play’ “The Pope and the Witch”.

From the Star-Tribune editorial page:

Your Dec. 3 editorial “Fo play is not faux pas by the U” segues from a lighthearted observation about the author of this theatrical production into a poorly disguised, mean-spirited, sweeping indictment of the Catholic Church and its history. It goes well beyond the limits of logical argumentation and is rather a haughty and hastily cobbled together theatrical review and anti-Catholic diatribe, wrapped in the flag of academic license.

“Understandably” the editorial states, “Catholics don’t find ‘The Pope and the Witch’ funny at all.” With that statement, we most certainly agree. We could hardly find a nightmarish parody of the papacy, a fundamental tenet of our faith that has 2,000 years of history, to be very funny. One doubts that a play viciously satirizing a revered or historic leader of the Jewish or Islamic faiths as a heroin-addicted, bumbling paranoid would characterized by those faith adherents as “funny.”

The editorial also reads like a promotion for the Dario Fo play, claiming that its stagings “have won uniformly charmed reviews” and that “most reviewers agree it is a hoot.” Interestingly, those exuberant raves do not agree fully with the play’s reception. For example, it opened briefly in Italy but was met with tepid reviews and not much public interest. In its run in San Francisco, where Catholic leaders objected, the play had an initial spurt of attendance, likely due to its controversy, but then was met with disinterest and had a short run.

Perhaps the best and most ironic evidence of the anti-Catholic tone of this editorial is its subheadline, which contends, “Those why cry ‘Catholic bashing’ doth protest too much.” Yet the first sentence of the editorial’s concluding paragraph reads: “The Catholic Church is a large, wealthy and exceptionally powerful global corporation with a scandal-studded history and a practice of involving itself in the political and social affairs of many nations.” I could refer the writer of this editorial to a virtual library of books and manuscripts that refute this grandiose charge and that document the magnificent societal, artistic and spiritual contributions of the Catholic Church over the centuries. I would also ask that, if an unsupported polemic statement like this one doesn’t rise to the level of “Catholic bashing,” please tell me what does?

Harry J. Flynn is archbishop of St. Paul and Minneapolis.

Who needs an Archdiocesan Spokesman when you have a strong Archbishop!

“Oh Dennis…” (That’s a line from “High Anxiety” - the movie.)

(Thank you Ray from Stella Borealis!)

New Melleray Abbey, sanctuary.

(sorry it is so pix-elated!)

A reader of this blog thought I should post more about monastic things, and I don’t want to get yelled at for my silly posts - but there is not much to say - Trappists don’t talk much.

Anyway, I remember several of Dom David’s homilies during Advent, focusing upon the liturgy and Our Lady. (He was very much like Jane Hathaway’s brother - she was the bank secretary in the “Beverly Hillbillies” - Fr. David was rather dry and a bit formal, although very friendly, and he really did have a sense of humor.) He is a hermit now I believe.

Nevertheless, after so many years, I can only recall there were no decorations in the Church - Trappists don’t do that. Midnight Mass was solemn and very simple, in keeping with Cistercian tradition. After Mass we could go to the refectory for cookies and treats in silence. There was a sort of Charlie Brown tree in there, with lights. Nothing lavish. It was very quiet and nice. (No booze. For most - I do believe we had a couple of closet tipplers however.)

I quickly went to my cell to pray and go back to sleep.

Christmas day there may have been music in the refectory - for sure there was no work. I think the novices got together. I seem to remember Br. DJ got a butt-load of goodies from his parents - and we ate most of it. (He stashed more in his cell. Correction - DJ contacted me and told me he had long left the monastery at that point - so I guess someone else got the care package from mums and dadums - but DJ did have a stash of stuff in his cell - I know because I moved into it after he left! :) I was like Harry Potter at Hogwarts - I got nothing - and I wouldn’t have wanted it otherwise.

I really liked it that way. I wanted to be so poor like the Infant Jesus, and I felt He granted my prayer. It was a special first Christmas in the monastery. It was there where I learned to love the silence and solitude of that Holy Night with all of it’s simplicity. Later, as a pilgrim, poor and alone on Beacon Hill, passing the lighted and decorated houses of the gentry on my way to St. Anthony’s on Arch Street for midnight Mass, I rejoiced in the same poverty and loneliness - so filled with the joy of the Nativity of Our Lord. I still prefer a quiet, contemplative Christmas.

It’s a good thing.

Fart Blossom!

Pictured, Fernando Botero’s “Bishop in the Woods”.

Just a couple of weeks ago, when discussing greenhouse gasses and our ‘green’ Archbishop, I suggested that cows emit a great deal of gasses that contribute to Global Warming. (See, “Gore-ed To Death With Global Warming.”)

This just in:

“This 400-page report by the Food and Agricultural Organisation, entitled Livestock’s Long Shadow, also surveys the damage done by sheep, chickens, pigs and goats. But in almost every case, the world’s 1.5 billion cattle are most to blame. Livestock are responsible for 18 per cent of the greenhouse gases that cause global warming, more than cars, planes and all other forms of transport put together.” -The Indepenent

Talk to the animals.

EAT STEAK! (I miss Jon Lovitz!)

In other words - it’s just two weeks until Christmas, and everyone is out there shopping, shopping, shopping and getting stuff together. Next week will be “Hell Week” retail -wise. Today will be my last day off (except for next Sunday) until Christmas. Blogging should be light - but I’m addicted so I’ll post some stuff - hopefully it won’t be as sappy as this week-end’s posts.

So, anyway, the bears came out and jumped in their Christmas stocking as part of the decorations for the holiday - they are wearing crowns and doing other things. Unlike normal bears, they hibernate all year and just come out at Christmas, although there is evidence they sneak out during the summer. My tree is up and the exterior of the house is lighted, and everything is just about complete, so I’m going out to get a digital camera and post pictures on the blog of everything - I hope.

First I thought I should post advice on how to handle the holidays if you get depressed or stressed at this time - and it is a rare drunk who doesn’t. (This is a public service required by the FCC.)

#1. Load up on anti-depressants and anti-panic-attack meds. (Just see your Dr. and tell him you are contemplating suicide if you have to hear one more Christmas carol.)

#2. Remember, Christmas is just another holy day of obligation - focus on the holy part.

#3. With email, you no longer have to send cards - that is so over. And when you get cards, don’t open them until after Christmas - then you won’t feel guilty for not sending any out.

#4. Go ahead, buy the stupid Gift Cards for presents and save yourself some time - no one ever remembers next year what they got for Christmas this year.

#5. If you insist upon visiting relatives, just say what you think when someone bugs you - my most memorable Christmases are all the family fights. Remember, you are making memories.

#6. If you don’t want to go to parties, don’t go, tell the host you’re going to be with people you like instead.

#7. Tell your family you’re going to be with people you like instead.

#8. Don’t get carried away or have these great expectations about anything - it’s just another day.

#9. If you have kids, remember Christmas is really for them - but don’t over-do it with gifts - they have enough already.

#10. And remember, you are not Santa - so don’t over-do it with anyone - we all have too much.

#11. Except for the invisible people - the poor and the marginalized, even service workers and others in invisible jobs. Be charitable, patient, kind, and understanding. Maybe tip or give a gift card. If an alcoholic asks for money, don’t assume he will use it for drink - let yourself be used once in awhile.

#12. If you can’t get in to get a hair cut or a style - wear a hat - you can’t do everything in such a short time. Or put some gel in and they will think you’re doing that bed-hair style - you don’t have to be up to date - especially if you’re older - nothing will help. (Which brings up the subject - old ladies should not wear eye shadow or bright lipstick - it brings out all those wrinkles - even around the mouth - and watch the perfume - you are not 20 any longer.)

#13. This is serious, if tragedy hits - don’t get mad at God - we’re the ones who have exaggerated the holidays - that’s when you really need to remember, Christmas is just another day.

#14. Those of you who only have sad Christmas memories, don’t think about it. The past is so over. Even if you are messed up - there are no rules on how to celebrate Christmas. Imagine your life as a sit-com - it always works for me!

#15. If you’re lonely and are looking for love, don’t disgust yourself any further by having a desperate fling at the company party - just remember Elaine on “Seinfeld”.

#16. Shop early for Christmas dinner, the stores are so nuts - and be nice when some one’s cart hits you in the ankle, or the Mom with three kids and an infant take over an aisle. Or be a bitch - you’re in a hurry - let people know Christmas is just another day - but do it with a smile.

#17. Don’t be disappointed in the gifts you receive - very few people have taste - taste is a gift. Remember what they say, “It’s better to get nothing at all than something awful.” (I had to leave a sweater at my parents house one year, it was patchwork with leather squares. I had to leave it - really.)

#18. If you do home-made gifts, don’t expect Ooooo’s and Ahhhhh’s except from grandma.

#19. If you go to mid-night Mass, and you’re the devout type, don’t be scandalized if it smells like a barroom, or that some hussey hardly has any clothes on under her coat. Be grateful they wanted to come to Mass and remember, one of the shepherds may have been drinking that first Christmas Eve as well, it was cold in those fields.

#20. Finally, relish Christmas morning - get up about 3AM and look at the lights, then go to the first Mass - delight in the quiet, adore the Infant Jesus, in the still, quiet of the night - then you will discover the true meaning of Christmas - I promise - very few people think of him amidst all the celebrations, and at that time, they are all asleep.

(Oh! I hope I make it to Christmas!)

DISCLAIMER: I just got up at 10AM - my day off and my throat is so swollen I look like I have a goiter - and I posted this first thing. It was only after I posted this that I read Eric at the Daily Eudemon - he did an advice list as well. What if he and I think alike? I doubt it - he’s sane - I’m sure it was simply a coincidence. Eric’s is much funnier - a must read.