Abbey-Roads2

It’s still Christmas everyone! So keep having fun!

One of the fun things I once enjoyed about New Year’s Day were the predictions of so-called psychics of what would happen in the year to come. I thought to myself, “I can do that!” So I’ll try my hand at it here. (I hope The Catholic Spirit picks this one up.)

Yes! A coadjutor will be announced this year and he will be a Bishop!

Joe and Mary Trojack will move back to St. Paul, Minnesota very, very soon. (I can see their aura!)

Michael Jackson will finally reveal in his night club act in Vegas that he and Latoya are one and the same person.

The war in Iraq will not get any better.

The Motu Proprio will be promulgated - with strings.

Barbara Nicholosi will produce the remake of, “The Signing Nun” it will be re-written and loosely based upon her own life. (Music and lyrics by the Daughters of St. Paul - I think a re-make of “Sister Act” may be in the offing as well.)

Global Warming will be suddenly reversed and a great ice age will encompass the Northern most regions of the Northern hemisphere.

Animals will march on Washington in protest of cruel and inhumane treatment in Zoo’s, Circuses and medical research facilities.

Dennis McGrath will be silenced.

Marijuana will be legalized for white males over the age of 50 - sorry Eric.

Fr. Z will be consecrated Bishop of Orange County.

It will finally be revealed that Britney Spears is actually a Bimbo.

Cigarette smoking will be found to prolong life.

Protestant influences will be exposed in the American Catholic church, while a new Holy Office will be established to examine these cases.

Anti-depressants will become available over-the-counter, and a regular additive to breakfast cereals and soft drinks.

Fr. Altier will become pastor of St. Joan of Arc.

Reality TV will be banned from the airways.

Gerald, of Cafeteria Is Closed will begin a new Catholic media empire, which will be very succesful, and he will become head of EWTN. (At any rate, he is going to be even more successful than he is!)

The NCCB will disolve itself.

Raymond Arroyo will have a new show on EWTN, a remake of Pee Wee’s playhouse called “Ray-Ray’s Playhouse”.

Elizabeth Taylor will pass away.

Mexico will become a State in order to solve the immigration problem.

Some Bishops will seek to approve celibacy as an option, but only for gay clergy, to retain the all male character of the hierarchy, yet feminists will hail it as a breakthrough.

Nancy Pelosi will be embroiled in much controversy, cat-fights, mud-wrestling matches in her tenure as Speaker of the House, and she and Hilary will…I can’t say it.

“Friends” will return to prime time as a remake of “Thirty Something” - now that’s a good idea!

Elvis will reveal to the world that he is indeed alive, opening in Las Vegas in competition with Michael Jackson.

Madonna will divorce Ritchie and drop her British accent.

Islamic terrorists will strike again.

Rosie O’Donnel and Donald Trump will reconcile on the last episode of The Biggest Loser - which will cause the cancellation of all reality TV programs.

Fat girls will become the new sex symbols and dieting will be outlawed throughout the developed nations, and it all started on the runways in Spain.

There will be earthquakes in various places, wars and rumors of wars.

There will be numerous claims of apparitions, with no authenticating proof, and no one except Michael Brown, and a few people who travel to Croatia, paying any attention.

Blogs will increase throughout cyberspace and everyone will write what ever comes into their head, and no one will care - except the editors of The Catholic Spirit.

I know, I know. These are rather risky, albeit breath-taking predictions. You don’t have to believe them if you don’t want to. (DISCLAIMER: Absolutely no magic, sorcery, or divination was used in this exercise, neither was common sense. This blog’s administrator disavows any and all responsibility for the content of this post.)