Abbey-Roads2

Pictured, “The Temptation of St. Anthony” by Claudio Bravo

What if our life was the same as a desert father living in his hermitage, and we discovered at the end of our lives, all the conflict, sufferings, sins and temptations were nothing more than illusions sent to test our faith?

Yet these sins and temptations are indeed real, no matter if we are the hermit in the desert, or a person living out their salvation in the world.

The healthy, normal person, has always looked upon others less fortunate as a loser in some way or form, oftentimes unconsciously.  It is only revealed in our attitudes towards others, albeit camouflaged by certain self-righteous moral judgments that incriminate, even demonize another.

I read the most interesting post ever on The Cafeteria Is Closed, by Gerald.  (A daily read for me!)  Without any sarcasm whatsoever, the post, “Gay and Catholic“ was especially poignant, and revealed to me a very real shortcoming amongst ‘devout Catholics’.  Gerald is sort of a “man’s man” yet his response to another  man with homosexual inclination, having left a same-sex relationship for Christ, was simply beautiful, thoughtful, compassionate, sensitive, and decidedly very Christian.  And most of his commentators would agree with this critique.

The man, his name is Josh, wrote this:

“It is very difficult, sometimes, to do my best to follow the Lord and live my life according to the Church’s teachings when fellow Catholics trot out statements such as “homosexuals are incapable of a spiritual life”.

God called me to the Catholic Church. There’s a deeper, more profound joy, that is almost unexplainable, in the Holy Eucharist. “Behold, I am with you always…” A few days after I was certain of God’s call to the fullness of the Faith, I sat down with my lover and talked to him about what was going on with me. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, to relinquish a long relationship that gave the both of us a great deal of stability, peace, and love.

Yet I did it, because I was and to this day remain absolutely certain that the Catholic Church is the way that God desires to save my soul. Yes, I still struggle, as most men do, with various sins of the flesh. All I can do is to keep praying, keep returning to confession yet again and again, and learn more and more how to make Mary my example, and with her intercession and that of the angels and saints, overcome the world, the flesh, and the devil.

All I can do is place myself before the Tabernacle and pour out my heart to the Lord; He alone can truly know and understand what it means to be hated, to be rejected, to be unloved. It’s a sacrifice each and every day to look at happy couples (of whatever gender) and realize that I can never have that again, and remind myself that after my purgation here on earth and after my life, I will see the face of God, and all the pain, the sorrow, the struggles will vanish as I look upon the face of my Father in heaven.

It is a major slap in the face to say that these things are unattainable just because I have homosexual desires and inclinations. There are people who aren’t as convinced, aren’t as persuaded of the truth and love of God that may very well turn away from the Church because of the thoughtless words of a few. I see people here all the time talking about millstones around bishops’ and priests’ necks…what about your own?” - Gay and Catholic

Possibly, few people will recognize in Josh’s actions heroic virtue, a necessary qualification for sainthood.  (Although, if he had made a novena to St. Joseph, I’m certain St. Joseph would have made accommodations for Josh and his friend to continue living together as chaste and celibate friends - even brothers.  St. Joseph has done this with others.)  Some may argue, that Josh simply renounced a sinful life in obedience to Christ’s call to repentance, without their fully realizing, much less accepting, the heroic scope of such a decision and what a totally counter-cultural change he has made.  After all, there are elements within the Church that claim one can be actively gay and remain Catholic.  Josh opted for the life of holiness the Lord calls gay people to, in and through their special capacity to love.

What struck me most about Josh’s comments is the hurt he continues to experience by the harsh judgments made by Roman Catholic faithful who continue to disparage and condemn people with homosexual attraction.  I felt indicted in this respect.  In previous posts I have come down pretty hard on persons with same-sex attraction.  I feel I have  consistently tried to separate those who advocate and embrace this lifestyle, from those who struggle with the temptation, while attempting to live a chaste life in accordance with the teachings of the Church.  I’ve often been misunderstood in my posts, although have tried to make a distinction between the two types.  (It is always a complex issue to write about.)

Nevertheless, Josh exposes a blanket prejudice which often remains in heterosexual attitudes towards people who have left the lifestyle.  It exists.  I prefer to believe it is unconscious, like that of a deep seated suspicion of Jews, or a fundamental racism, based upon racial stereotypes, which affect people of all races, black, brown, Asian, or white.

I’ve worked with people who refer to all people with homosexual inclination as sodomites.  They are assuming these people are sexually active.  If they discover two men or women live together, they immediately assume they are gay.  If a person has gay characteristics - these people label them as gay.

Oftentimes, homosexuals, having left the lifestyle to live a devout Catholic life, remain branded with that “Scarlet Letter” - Gay.  In discussing a certain person who once worked at the same job I had, a principal of the Company said, “But he’s gay”.  I later learned he is not gay, never has been, yet the perception was there - and it didn’t matter to the person who said that to me.  The man accused is a devout Catholic, and being such, even if he was gay, he had been immediately labeled and condemned, not to mention slandered, by another devout Catholic.

What is one to conclude?  That a person with homosexual attraction, actively living the lifestyle, or having renounced the lifestyle, is “damned if they do, or damned if they don’t”.  What everyone fails to understand, persons in each category, have genuine worth and value.  They are people, they are persons.

We Catholics, especially those who wear the faith on their sleeves, have a tendency to be a bit smug, even triumphalist, not to mention exclusive towards others.  As Catholics we always must be seasoned with charity - charity in our hearts - not the charity that simply gives to the less fortunate, while preserving a sense of superiority over others;  but the charity that sees no evil - especially where it is not.  St. Paul wrote about this, yet few practice it.