When you just can’t get over it…
It helps to go to confession.
“I turned every way, but there was no one to help me, I looked for one to sustain me, but could find no one. But then I remembered the mercies of the Lord, his kindness through ages past; For he saves those who take refuge in him, and rescues them from every evil.” - Sirach 51
Anonymous confession is such a mystical experience. Face to face, one is often too self-conscious; the priest and penitent seem to be focused upon each other in a more natural manner, somehow obscuring the supernatural dimension of the forgiveness of sins. It has nothing to do with the shame of one’s sins, rather the recollection of who it is we encounter. Behind a grill and curtain, it seems to me it is easier to focus upon Christ, He whom we come face to face with in the sacrament.
It is simply my personal preference, no matter how one receives the sacrament, the soul immediately and directly encounters Our Lord, nothing, save the Eucharist, can be likened to it.
Go to confession.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
You have just said what I have wanted to say so often!
Sometimes I go face to face, mainly to overcome some point of pride because I know the priests and so it’s harder to sit in front of them and Confess to them who I really am….but then we see the issue, don’t we?
Because I am not confessing to them, but to Jesus.
And so I usually go anonymously, although I think there have been times where the priest recognized my voice. And yet, even then, they spoke for Jesus, giving me the message dear to His heart.
And in anonymous confession, we can kneel, which is appropriate when begging the mercy of our Lord, and when I bow my head during absolution, I can even FEEL the grace of Jesus, recognizing that it is HE who forgives my sins, seeing me for who I really am.
And besides…I tend to cry when I say the Act of Contrition. I have actually gone into Confession completely defiant, recognizing my sin but not repentant…and so I confessed my unrepentance, and the very moment I admitted that I had offended God…well, it was all over.
Had I been anywhere but the Confessional, admitting I was unrepentant would have fanned the flames of my dissent. But there, in the “box”, with the priest in persona Christi, the Lord’s grace brought about my repentance.
I learned to go to Confession, then even when I don’t think I’m disposed, because God’s grace is sufficient to overcome even our rebellion.
He only asks that we admit that we were wrong…and he will do the rest.
I second what you said…Go to Confession!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:29 am
I’ll second and third what Terry and Julie have said.
I would add that as with many things, the quality of confessors varies. I used to be a two or three times a year penitent, largely because I wasn’t getting much feedback.
Last year I was startled when a strange confessor actually gave me some excellent spiritual guidance along with my penance. I haven’t run into him again (he is a substitute at a parish I occasionally went to for confession).
But a few weeks later I discovered a pastor at a different parish who is now my permanent confessor. It makes a big difference.
I’ve now increased the frequency of my confessions to every month or two (and on an “as needed basis). Frequent confessions really help a lot with those aggravating habits and sins that have plagued me my whole life.
So don’t feel obliged to go to the confessors at your home parish. Feel free to search for someone who will guide you and stretch you.
I’ve been doing a pretty good job of saying a daily rosary because of my new guide.
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:13 am
Hi Terry - from a fellow Minnesotan,
I’m glad I came across this post. Over the past 15 years I’ve gotten into the ‘habit’ of going face to face. Probably because, in the back of my mind, I think I’m brave.
There are times, though, when I am self-conscious - I’m thinking, “Is this priest questioning my sincerity?” (or am I questioning myself?)
I think because I have been going face to face for so many years, I have built up this belief that having an anonymous confession is somehow lesser, or is a cop-out. Your post has made me think about going behind the ‘old screen’ once again. Maybe I’ll try it out for size tomorrow.
Thanks, and God Bless You!