Abbey-Roads2

Tea At Trininon.

With a wonderful post entitled;

 Blogger Etiquette.

“It’s a good thing.”

In an earlier post I was reminded that one may commit the sin of omission if one does not let a person know he or she may be committing a sin.  It is a precept of the Church as well as a work of mercy to “admonish the sinner.”  The gospel also instructs us to do so;

“If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault privately - if he listens, you have won him over…”  Matthew 18; 15-17

The text continues with how to act if the person refuses to listen, then one is supposed to take two or three witnesses along, if he is still obstinate, then take it to the Church, etc.  Now this is surely applicable in the case of public scandal, say by a pro-abortion politician, or an erring priest or bishop.

But what do you do about a coworker, or a friend?  The solution is really pretty easy.  You just politely say something like, “Well the Church teaches that it is a mortal sin to miss Mass on Sunday without good reason.”  Or, “One shouldn’t approach communion without having confessed mortal sin.”  It doesn’t have to be a big deal, in many cases one is fulfilling another precept of the Church, “instruct the ignorant.”  (Generally, the person isn’t ignorant.)  It’s just common sense and reasonable to inform people of the mistaken notions they may have developed in their practice of the faith.  However, it can be done so gently and charitably, without causing a scene. 

Been there, done that.

On the other hand, some people really do know the faith and either chuck it, or make up their own rules.  “Old Catholics,” SSPXers do it.  Luther did it.  Henry VIII did it.  The average person does it. 

“I know the Church says homosexuality is a sin, but I’m in love with my lover and we live a good life, so I don’t agree.”  Or, “I can’t afford to get pregnant and so I take the pill - it’s not like I’m having an abortion, the Church can preach what they want, it’s my body.”  They know what they are doing and saying - they’ve made a choice.  They just don’t believe or want to accept the consequences.  What do you do?  Start a religious war over it?  The later are essentially obstinate sinners.  They may be otherwise ‘nice’ but they are obstinate in their sin.

My entire family was this way - I grew up in an irreligious environment.  When my parents asked me to lie for them, I explained I couldn’t and that it was a sin, so they wouldn’t let me answer the phone when bill collectors called.  (This is why I’m often considered tactless, I’ve always had an abhorrence of lying because of this atmosphere.)  I often asked them not to use God’s name in vain, and they would tell me to go to hell.  They knew what they were doing, I eventually realized I didn’t have to tell them something was a sin.  In the end the mere sight of me was an affliction of conscience for them.

Many people know they are living in sin and seek to justify themselves, or rebel against the Church or anyone convicting them of sin.  There has been much talk about the world having lost the sense of sin, and sadly, the world has.  Yet many have a fundamental sense of what is right and wrong.  Because the wrong suits them, they in turn justify it.

I’ve often been corrected by fellow Catholics that my acceptance of certain values tolerated in popular culture was in error.  These people indeed helped me understand moral and natural law much better, and I have been grateful for that.  Which underscores the fact that I hadn’t been in the process of rejecting the truth, nor was I closed to it.  Obstinate sinners are.

I still occasionally tell friends of mine that they should go to Mass, or not drink so heavily, or that abortion is sinful, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and I am able to do so calmly and rationally in the course of conversation.  They just don’t care.

Discretion is the mother of virtue.

St. Therese often said she was grateful not to be the superior in charge of the other nuns because it was not her place to correct them.  John of the Cross cautioned religious to avoid offering advice unless asked, and neither to judge or have regard for the faults of others, if possible.  There is a fine line when it comes to fraternal correction and it’s sometimes hard to discern the appropriate action.  Charity is always the guide.  If one is correcting a neighbor, the motive must always spring from love.

All too often, a person is correcting an individual through self-love.  To exalt oneself perhaps, to appear more virtuous and learned sometimes, or simply to assuage their delicate conscience regarding sins of omission.  A friend corrected someone and later told me he had only done so because he feared being guilty of a sin of omission.  He went away feeling justified.  Remember the Pharisee and the publican.  Self love often taints our best intentions.

I have friends who have not only left religious life, but left the Church.  These are well informed individuals who made their choice after years of struggle and emotional anguish.  A couple of them know theology and Church teaching better than I do.  What should I do?  Constantly tell them they are heretics and living in sin?  They know the commandments and know the teaching of the Church - they left it.  Jesus told the rich young man what he needed to do, and he walked away.  Informed people know and make their own choices.  They have free will.

I once knew a young girl who volunteered at the Cancer Home on Sundays instead of going to Mass.  I said, “Rachel, honey, you still have to go to Mass.”  Yet she countered that she didn’t accept that, her way was best, and besides that, this was what she had been taught in Catholic school.

Most experienced Catholics really know what is sinful, they really do know what the Church teaches, and their conscience has often informed them they have sinned or are indeed going to commit sin - that is why they have concocted their excuses.  It’s a rare occasion I feel the need to correct someone, when I do so, I trust the Holy Spirit to inspire and inform my spiritual counsel.  But I don’t trust myself, much less my motives.  It’s that self-love thing.

Check out “The Confraternity of Penitents” for a great piece from Cantalamessa on the subject.  New Advent also has good teaching on the matter.  Interestingly, New Advent details circumstances when fraternal correction is warranted:

• the delinquency to be corrected or prevented is a grievous one;
• there is no good reason to believe that the sinner will adequately provide for himself;
• there is a well-founded expectation that the admonition will be heeded;
• there is no one else just as well fitted for this work of Christian charity and likely to undertake it;
• there is no special trouble or disadvantage accruing to the reformer as a result of his zeal.

Practically, however, individuals without any official capacity are seldom impeachable as having seriously transgressed the law in this matter because it is but rarely one finds the coalition of circumstances just enumerated. - New Advent 

Always be careful that you aren’t the one pushing the sinner out the door.  There is a time and a place for everything.

“Penitent Roasted by the Sun” - Clive Hicks-Jenkins

I normally wake up without an alarm, and this morning was no different.  I got up, turned the heat up, started the coffee and went back to bed.  I decided to skip the 6:30AM Mass and go to the 8:30.  Immediately upon waking I pray, “Show us your face O Lord, and we shall be saved.”  When I got back in bed I continued my vocal prayers for the morning…and I thought, wouldn’t it be nice to stay in bed?

Yesterday a woman told me she wouldn’t be going to Mass today because it will be too cold - although it was just as cold yesterday and she was out and about.  I had no response, although she must have felt the need to justify herself, and said that when you’re over 60 years of age, you don’t really have to go to Mass on Sundays if it’s inconvenient.  (The only age rules I know of regarding Church discipline concern fasting and the mandatory retirement age for bishops.)

It’s funny how a dumb statement such as hers can work on a person however.  I’m laying in bed thinking, “Well, maybe it is too cold to go to Mass.”  I laughed out loud - thinking that devil guy will use anything to keep a person from prayer.  Sometimes temptations are really quite funny.

When I lived in Boston, I knew a woman whose husband had MS, and so I would help them out with errands and things.  She called me over to their apartment once to talk about some problems she was going through.  In the meantime, her husband left the room.  The conversation went south - sexually speaking.  She was trying to seduce me - while her husband was in the next room.  Now this woman was overweight, messy, greasy - totally unattractive - yet even if she hadn’t been, I wasn’t interested - despite the fact I was getting a little turned on.  I quickly excused myself and left the apartment and headed towards St. Anthony’s to speak with Fr. Gregory about it - especially since I had experienced physical movements of lust.

When I told him what had happened - he laughed so hard he got tears in his eyes, and I started laughing as well. It was funny.  That’s when I learned the devil can be kind of funny with the temptations he comes up with.  While I better understood the difference between bodily reactions as opposed to consent of the will, etc.

Anyway - I went to the 8:30 Mass this morning at St. Agnes.  On my way I thought about those who may not go to Mass because of the cold, and how they will go out later to the store or to watch the Superbowl at a friend’s house.  I wondered what the people in Nazi concentration camps, or the Soviet gulag would have done if they had a chance to attend Mass in their situation.

Most readers know I work in a Catholic religious goods store.  I have met so many good Catholics over the years.  Newbies to the faith, as well as those recently returned to the practice of their faith, are often rather zealous for all the rules and regulations and pious practices of our religion.  And they like to preach and teach others to be as well.

In time, most settle down to a more balanced, well integrated religious observance.  Interestingly enough, those who grow more and more zealous, sometimes end up chucking a lot of it in the end.  Before they do however, a few have crossed over to the uber-trad side, sometimes verging on sedevacantist. 

In the beginning, they attended daily Mass, made frequent confessions, prayed the rosary, abstained from meat on Fridays, and insisted that Catholics should not work on holy days of obligation.  They were very strict, very vocal, devout Catholics.  Some concluded that the traditional Mass was holy, while the novus ordo was evil - hence they would only attend the Tridentine rite on Sundays, thus depriving themselves of the daily Mass and communion they otherwise attended.

A couple of these acquaintances have pretty much “slacked off” from their devotions all together.  One fellow now eats meat on Friday when he used to preach to everyone in the past about how Catholics must continue the practice of Friday abstinence.  Without going into detail, let it suffice to say that a few of these “dogma bangers” have now slipped down the slippery slope of negligence, and they look pretty silly for it.  (Arrogant in their fervor, they are just as arrogant in their backslidding - it’s not as if they’re unaware of their choices.) 

So what’s my point?  I don’t really care if someone decides it’s too cold to go to Mass, or if someone eats meat on Friday, or if someone wants to seduce me (fat chance now!).  I have enough trouble working out my own salvation amidst my own very special temptations.  If these folks were truly ignorant, I would offer a bit of gentle fraternal correction.  Nevertheless, they are well aware of what is right and wrong.  After all, God didn’t send an angel to Adam and Eve to repeat His commanments to them before they ate that apple.

Having said that, in these situations, I often recall Our Lord’s words to Peter when he asked about John, “What is it to you if he stays until the end of the world, follow me.”

It’s like saying, “Mind your own business.”