Abbey-Roads2

In an earlier post I was reminded that one may commit the sin of omission if one does not let a person know he or she may be committing a sin.  It is a precept of the Church as well as a work of mercy to “admonish the sinner.”  The gospel also instructs us to do so;

“If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault privately - if he listens, you have won him over…”  Matthew 18; 15-17

The text continues with how to act if the person refuses to listen, then one is supposed to take two or three witnesses along, if he is still obstinate, then take it to the Church, etc.  Now this is surely applicable in the case of public scandal, say by a pro-abortion politician, or an erring priest or bishop.

But what do you do about a coworker, or a friend?  The solution is really pretty easy.  You just politely say something like, “Well the Church teaches that it is a mortal sin to miss Mass on Sunday without good reason.”  Or, “One shouldn’t approach communion without having confessed mortal sin.”  It doesn’t have to be a big deal, in many cases one is fulfilling another precept of the Church, “instruct the ignorant.”  (Generally, the person isn’t ignorant.)  It’s just common sense and reasonable to inform people of the mistaken notions they may have developed in their practice of the faith.  However, it can be done so gently and charitably, without causing a scene. 

Been there, done that.

On the other hand, some people really do know the faith and either chuck it, or make up their own rules.  “Old Catholics,” SSPXers do it.  Luther did it.  Henry VIII did it.  The average person does it. 

“I know the Church says homosexuality is a sin, but I’m in love with my lover and we live a good life, so I don’t agree.”  Or, “I can’t afford to get pregnant and so I take the pill - it’s not like I’m having an abortion, the Church can preach what they want, it’s my body.”  They know what they are doing and saying - they’ve made a choice.  They just don’t believe or want to accept the consequences.  What do you do?  Start a religious war over it?  The later are essentially obstinate sinners.  They may be otherwise ‘nice’ but they are obstinate in their sin.

My entire family was this way - I grew up in an irreligious environment.  When my parents asked me to lie for them, I explained I couldn’t and that it was a sin, so they wouldn’t let me answer the phone when bill collectors called.  (This is why I’m often considered tactless, I’ve always had an abhorrence of lying because of this atmosphere.)  I often asked them not to use God’s name in vain, and they would tell me to go to hell.  They knew what they were doing, I eventually realized I didn’t have to tell them something was a sin.  In the end the mere sight of me was an affliction of conscience for them.

Many people know they are living in sin and seek to justify themselves, or rebel against the Church or anyone convicting them of sin.  There has been much talk about the world having lost the sense of sin, and sadly, the world has.  Yet many have a fundamental sense of what is right and wrong.  Because the wrong suits them, they in turn justify it.

I’ve often been corrected by fellow Catholics that my acceptance of certain values tolerated in popular culture was in error.  These people indeed helped me understand moral and natural law much better, and I have been grateful for that.  Which underscores the fact that I hadn’t been in the process of rejecting the truth, nor was I closed to it.  Obstinate sinners are.

I still occasionally tell friends of mine that they should go to Mass, or not drink so heavily, or that abortion is sinful, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and I am able to do so calmly and rationally in the course of conversation.  They just don’t care.

Discretion is the mother of virtue.

St. Therese often said she was grateful not to be the superior in charge of the other nuns because it was not her place to correct them.  John of the Cross cautioned religious to avoid offering advice unless asked, and neither to judge or have regard for the faults of others, if possible.  There is a fine line when it comes to fraternal correction and it’s sometimes hard to discern the appropriate action.  Charity is always the guide.  If one is correcting a neighbor, the motive must always spring from love.

All too often, a person is correcting an individual through self-love.  To exalt oneself perhaps, to appear more virtuous and learned sometimes, or simply to assuage their delicate conscience regarding sins of omission.  A friend corrected someone and later told me he had only done so because he feared being guilty of a sin of omission.  He went away feeling justified.  Remember the Pharisee and the publican.  Self love often taints our best intentions.

I have friends who have not only left religious life, but left the Church.  These are well informed individuals who made their choice after years of struggle and emotional anguish.  A couple of them know theology and Church teaching better than I do.  What should I do?  Constantly tell them they are heretics and living in sin?  They know the commandments and know the teaching of the Church - they left it.  Jesus told the rich young man what he needed to do, and he walked away.  Informed people know and make their own choices.  They have free will.

I once knew a young girl who volunteered at the Cancer Home on Sundays instead of going to Mass.  I said, “Rachel, honey, you still have to go to Mass.”  Yet she countered that she didn’t accept that, her way was best, and besides that, this was what she had been taught in Catholic school.

Most experienced Catholics really know what is sinful, they really do know what the Church teaches, and their conscience has often informed them they have sinned or are indeed going to commit sin - that is why they have concocted their excuses.  It’s a rare occasion I feel the need to correct someone, when I do so, I trust the Holy Spirit to inspire and inform my spiritual counsel.  But I don’t trust myself, much less my motives.  It’s that self-love thing.

Check out “The Confraternity of Penitents” for a great piece from Cantalamessa on the subject.  New Advent also has good teaching on the matter.  Interestingly, New Advent details circumstances when fraternal correction is warranted:

• the delinquency to be corrected or prevented is a grievous one;
• there is no good reason to believe that the sinner will adequately provide for himself;
• there is a well-founded expectation that the admonition will be heeded;
• there is no one else just as well fitted for this work of Christian charity and likely to undertake it;
• there is no special trouble or disadvantage accruing to the reformer as a result of his zeal.

Practically, however, individuals without any official capacity are seldom impeachable as having seriously transgressed the law in this matter because it is but rarely one finds the coalition of circumstances just enumerated. - New Advent 

Always be careful that you aren’t the one pushing the sinner out the door.  There is a time and a place for everything.