Stopped in my tracks…
Before I call it a day, and it’s been a silly one - even though I had to man the Store all day - I have to post something from my Lectio this morning.
“Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.” Luke 18
My heart was impaled by these words this morning…I could’nt move beyond them. My hair stood on end - on my arms that is. (That is what that saying means you know - it’s not that your hair on your head stands straight up.)
When I was younger, I struggled with sins of the flesh, rising and falling daily - yes daily - and I so much understood the Publican, praying at the back of church, unable to lift my eyes to Heaven, yet experiencing the spiritual joy of compunction and repentance, eliciting the Divine Mercy in abundance. Sins of the flesh are kind of wonderful - so to speak - in that they are so obvious and one knows immediately one is sinning…it’s all very black and white
On the other hand, spiritual sins are so much more subtle, and therefore deceptive, while being the more insidious, and the proud man recognizes them in himself only with difficulty. It’s easy to see them in others, but extremely difficult to see them in oneself - especially if one is accustomed to virtuous acts, exercises of piety, fidelity to duty, and all that stuff.
Sins against the theological virtues of faith, hope and charity are often the sins and temptations older people deal with. It is the true spiritual warfare.
Never, ever, think you have arrived in the spiritual life - and since you seem to be free from the sins of the flesh you have therefore “made it” somehow. The devil wants us to believe that. I know there is a Pharisee lurking within me, looking down on some Publican who may not have made it to church yet. (Maybe he is some drunk out on St. Patrick’s day night.)
Lord, have mercy upon me a sinner.
(So anyway - that is why I’ve been silly all day - if that makes any sense at all.)
March 17th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Thank you SO MUCH for this post! You nailed it!
Not so much because of “sins of the flesh”, but the feeling you described:
” praying at the back of church”
That was ME! I used to go from parish to parish, and sit in the back. I didn’t want anyone to know me, I thought I was a fraud just for being there, and the entire time, I just begged for mercy.
Now I’m well within the Church, and in reality, I’m still the same old fraud but with a better image.
But I don’t want to sit in the back of the church anymore, because I NEED to be closer to Jesus because I need his grace so desperately.
And yet the pride creeps in….
March 17th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Oh, and I forgot to mention…I’m offended that you’re not commenting on my blog anymore…is it because I’m Irish? Or did my artwork scare you away. Sorry my skill hasn’t transcended the elementary and I’m not an iconographer….
I told Cathy to tell you I’m offended and she told me to tell you myself…so there it is.
I’ll await your sincere apology…or condemnation….what have you…