Home-schoolers
Home-schooled and sheltered.
In my former employment, I had occasion to work closely with Catholic mothers. A couple of these moms often commented upon how home schooled kids, though well behaved, were not very sophisticated and rather naive ‘Little House On The Prairie’ types, as one of them liked to say. These working wives and mothers questioned home schooled kids social skills and ability to get through the challenges of college, if they attended at all. I know an owner of a Catholic business, herself a mother, who suggested that many home schooled girl’s educations pretty much only prepared them to be housewives and mothers.
CBNNews.com has an article dealing with the prevailing prejudice against home-schoolers claiming home schooled kids are not well socialized, as well as claiming they are narrow minded and judgemental concerning the ‘outside world.’
“92 percent of superintendents believe that home learners are emotionally unstable, deprived of proper social development and too judgmental of the world around them, according to a California study by researcher Dr. Brian Ray.” - CBNNews.com
As a single man, I’ve seen the difference.
Having worked in Catholic retail, I’ve had the good fortune to meet a variety of Catholic home schoolers and their children. I have to say I have been impressed. Most mothers and fathers who home school are college educated, well rounded Catholic people, not at all provincial or small minded. Indeed, their children seem to be above average intelligence, well read and very well spoken, friendly, polite and highly socialized. (They are even capable of engaging in an intelligent conversation with another person, even if he happens to be an adult.)
Are they judgemental regarding the world and public education? I wouldn’t say they are judgemental, rather they are discerning and knowledgeable concerning what is out there. Unaffected by trend and pop culture, they tend to have a sophistication and style many public/parochial school kids lack.
I laugh to myself when I think of some of the criticism leveled against home school kids by some Catholic working women. Many of the moms, while continuing to work, have sent their own daughters and sons to Catholic schools from kindergarten through college. As their children mature, many have nothing to do with the Catholic Church save for weddings and funerals.
It seems obvious to me that their kids, believing themselves to be better educated and coming from a more ‘privledged’ home, can often become more judgemental than their home schooled counterparts. In the case of some of the women I’ve worked with, it appeared to me their kids were rather poorly socialized. Their kids routinely ignored people in social interactions, they rarely acknowledged or greeted others when visiting the office, and when spoken to, they seemed capable of only one word replies, etc. It’s been my experience that these ‘better’ educated kids lack rudimentary social skills regardless of their age. Whether it’s nurture or education, or both, I’m not certain, but they fall short of their home-schooled counterparts.
Case in point, a recent Catholic college graduate, who now works for her family in an important capacity at a company, which will remain un-named, often demonstrates an appalling lack of courtesy, as well as other social skills. In that sense, she, though well educated and ostensibly well-brought up, nevertheless seems to be the poorly socialized one. For instance, in office situations, she only speaks to other non-family members if her job demands it or when spoken to, ignoring most employees who are beneath her. Very often, she is generally just plain rude to co-workers and strangers alike.
On the other hand, some more sophisticated career-oriented Catholic moms, who spend a fortune on educating their kids in Catholic schools, end up raising them to be snooty little brats. While it is not uncommon for their kids themselves to have children out of wedlock, or get married outside the Church, dress like sluts, and drink like fish. These are the very same Catholic moms who think home schooled kids are weird, unsocialized, frumpy, simple minded, unsophisticated, naively - if not poorly educated, country bumpkins.
There is an obvious anti-home school prejudice in this country. I hope home schoolers can retain the right to educate their children at home, and continue to prove everyone wrong.
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:31 am
Terry, I think you’re right on the mark. An old friend just this morning confided in an email that he & his wife, who have 3 young children under the age of 6, are going to begin homeschooling this Fall. They’ve been keeping this decision a closely guarded secret because of the ridicule and prejudice so prevalent, but feel that this is the best (and only) way to ensure their Catholic values are instilled in their children as they can’t rely on neither the public nor parochial schools. All of my nieces & nephews attended parochial and public schools, and very many of them (despite the good example set by one or both of their parents) have succumbed to secular culture. I hope the home-schooling trend continues.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:14 pm
I agree, your on the mark. Unfortunately I reminded everyday of the disadvantage my son is at because he is in daycare and will not be homeschooled, due to my circumstances. eh… whatever. I try. Thats all i can do.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:50 pm
O Kat - a lot of people cannot home school. There is nothing wrong with public school or parochial school, provided kids are well trained at home, well - what am I saying - public and parochial schools do have problems - but the parent has to be in control, correct errors, guide social behavior, etc.
I was pretty much contrasting the parents who make fun of home schoolers and their kids behavior with the home schooled kids. I saw a huge difference regarding values and ethics, and polite behavior.
All parents need our support, but the right to home school must be rspected and defended.
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Terry, you’re right again in saying that kids need to be well trained at home & that public/parochial school training is secondary. Of my seven siblings, six are parents, and five of those worked earnestly to instill conservative Catholic values in their children. In one of the families, the values went deep. For the others, the kids totally bought the lies of the secular culture. And so did I. What’s a parent to do when training them in the ways of the Lord doesn’t seem to be enough? Bottom line I guess is that each child has their own personality, their own will to choose … and they’re going to make mistakes no matter what. The best any parent can do is be an example above all and hope & PRAY that IF the kids stray, they’ll return … eventually … to their roots.
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Homeschooling can be wonderful. But not always. Some homeschooling parents can be downright rude about the educational choices other families make, implying or even stating outright that truly caring, orthodox Catholic parents would NEVER send their children to a parish or (gasp) public school.
I agree that homeschooling families are often the object of prejudice, but I would suggest that the prejudice can run both ways.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Jeron you are right - what to do?
And so are you Marie - in fact, I think I met those home-schoolers you are talking about…
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Marie, I know exactly what you are talking about, too.
Terry, great, great post.
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Well written. Yeah there’s a prejudice in the states but at least we can’t be arrested for doing it as in Germany! My wife is a current homeschooler (read SAHM) of my 2 year old.
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:58 am
One last comment: I met more serious Christians in public school than I did in parochial school. And the friendships of mine that have lasted 20+ years are those that have been based on Christ. Without exception, I met all those persons in public high school and university.
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:56 pm
I don’t have any experience with home schooling, but I probably read a lot more home schooling blogs than most people because of my attempt to chronicle the Catholic blogs of Minnesota & Vicinity.
I can tell you I am very impressed with what I see on:
bearing blog, Erin, Twin Cities - Home School
A Catholic Harvest - Paula, MN - Home School
Minnesota Mom - Margaret, MN
Studeo - Alicia, WI - Home School
If you can’t find them using a search engine, try Stella Borealis’ sidebar.
May 4th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
I could not have home-schooled as I have NO patience but my friend has 7 kids, all home-schooled, who are absolutely DELIGHTFUL in every way.