Shame
No sin - no shame.
Years ago, Pius XII made a statement that modern man has lost the sense of sin, while subsequent Popes, as well as many other religious figures have repeated the very same thing. However, I doubt that it has ever been more obvious than it is in our day.
After I had returned to the Church in 1972, I heard a priest’s homily devoted to the topic of how modern man has lost all sense of humility. He was speaking especially about the younger generation - which would have been my generation at the time. (And everyone knows how full of ourselves the Boomers are.)
You’re okay - I’m okay.
Both of these statements regarding sin and humility are true of course; from one generation to the next, a progressive slide down the slippery slope of moral ambiguity has taken place - the loss of the sense of sin, to the loss of humility, down to what we now see as a loss of the sense of shame. And I think we have more or less educated, trained, and therapeutically removed the concept of shame out of our consciousness.
Psychologists and therapists frequently view shame as one of the leading causes of many of the disorders people suffer from. Educators see it as contributing to low self-esteem and poor achievement in kids. Parents train their kids to always feel good about themselves, no matter what. In games, sports and other contests, the idea that no one is ever a loser has been gaining support in recent years. Saving a child from undue shame is of course good, as is proper self-esteem, but I wonder if it has been over done?
“Nothin’ wrong with that” attitude.
Not long go, Brittney Spears was photographed emerging from a car without under-clothes on - I think Paris Hilton was similarly photographed as well. Of course, Lindsay Lowhan and Paris Hilton have been in the news for run-ins with the law - they, like many other celebrities and non-celebrities make no apologies about their behavior. We see how young men and women dress - very often shamelessly. Young men, white or black are frequently seen on the streets massaging their genitals - in public. Older people can also exhibit a certain shamelessness about their own behavior - Bill Clinton and Monica for instance - they weren’t all that ashamed of their behavior.
I just came across photos of the gay pride event in San Francisco, and men were on the street in broad daylight, naked, save for cowboy boots and hat. Last year George Michael was again arrested for public sex in a park - his response, “This is what gay men do”. Drudge, the tabloids, TV shows are filled with similar anecdotes - as a culture we’ve pretty much lost it - that sense of shame.
So what?
The culture tells us we cannot feel bad about ourselves nor what we do. I knew men dying of AIDS who were told that what they did sexually was not a sin - that they had nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. How do you repent and ask for God’s mercy in preparation for death if you have never sinned?
Shame isn’t a bad thing. A certain amount of shame is necessary for a person at times. It is a protective emotion that keeps us from doing what is evil, either to ourselves or to others. It allows us to feel remorse for what we have done wrong, and moves us to make amends. This is referred to as moral shame. On the other hand, there is what is called sexual shame.
The defense against lust.
Sexual shame is what Adam and Eve first experienced in the garden after the fall, they covered themselves because they realized they were naked. Modesty is associated with sexual shame. It is a safeguard for our sexuality, protecting us from violation and exploitation. It isn’t a matter of being ashamed because we see ourselves as un-beautiful, or not well endowed, or anything like that. Rather it is an emotion which defends us from lust, or concupiscence of the flesh.
To feel guilt for our sins causes a sense of shame, which should move us to repentance and the Sacrament of Penance. It’s a good thing. Just as the protective emotion of sexual shame defends us against the sins of lust. Which explains why promiscuous behavior, vulgarity, lewdness, and disordered sexual behavior has become so prevalent and accepted in our culture - because the sense of shame has been denied, and for the most part, lost.
Therefore shame, in one sense, part of the “chastisement” for sin, is also a gift of grace, helping to keep us from continuing to sin.
