Abbey-Roads2

Chicago.  

I got an email from a reader who attended the Courage conference last week in Chicago at Mundelein.  I was very impressed.  This man is ’still’ young, he is in his early 30’s.  Most young guys aren’t ready for chastity, not to mention leaving the homosexual lifestyle, until they get a bit older and their ‘market’ value has been undermined somewhat - or they just got tired of the gay scene.  That is not to say there is not an authentic conversion involved, it is just more difficult for a younger guy to imagine a life-long commitment to a life of chastity and devotion, as a viable alternative to the hedonistic gay culture.

Chastity.

Along with the so-called “chastity movement” amongst heterosexuals, anecdotal evidence suggests that organizations such as Courage are attracting younger men and women who have become dissatisfied with our sexualized culture.  Many realize the futility of using promiscuous behavior in a search for love and friendship through sexual intimacy in order stave off the pain of lonely isolation.

Emails. 

As I said, my friend wrote me a few emails regarding the Courage conference, here is the first:

terry -

the *courage* conference was an amazing experience of God’s love and grace.  i’m still reeling from the joy.  opening Mass was celebrated by cardinal archbishop george. 

and the one priest who, in my mind, is “Jesus with skin” was present.  the same priest who prayed over me w/a handful of others at last year’s conference in a healing service.  he was there again.  and he witnesses in such a quiet, powerful way.  i look at him, and he IS Christ for me.  he’s the encapsulation of masculinity, strength, love, gentleness, kindness, temperance, purity.  wow!  - From an email.

Healing. 

It is easy to appreciate the inclusion of a healing Mass and prayer service, because as with many sexual sins, it seems to me the sexual act is a symptom of a deeper malady.  For instance, auto-eroticism is called the “lonely” passion, indicating a deeper loneliness and sense of alienation.  Sin is alienation - from God, and from the Body of Christ.  It is disintegration because it separates the soul from God’s grace, thus widening  the dichotomy of soul and body, as much as it isolates us from one another.  In confession the guilt of sin is removed, God’s grace is restored, yet more deeply, the grace of healing is also actively  present.  The Eucharist and the priest’s prayer of healing, together work toward healing the root causes of sin, the original woundedness which is the source of every disorder.

Perhaps because of this interior woundedness, it seems to me - in some individuals - disordered tendencies and inclinations arise to assuage the pain of alienation and confusion.   Although complex, I wonder if in certain circumstances homosexuality affords an identity and validation for a person simply desiring same sex friendship and acceptance?  Whatever the cause, most people with SSA understand their homosexual inclination as their core identity.

Identity.

On some level, I think this isn’t the healthiest route to take in an effort to exit, or convert from the homosexual lifestyle.  In a certain sense, when a person consistently identifies as “gay” or focuses on his “gayness”, the thought keeps one there - and may even contribute towards greater vulnerability when temptation and loneliness comes along.  I think a person with SSA needs to move beyond identifying oneself solely by one’s sexual inclination, which informs how one relates to other men and women.

To be sure, a person who has lived the lifestyle for many years cannot change his personality, and shouldn’t be expected to do so.  I’m not suggesting that at all.  Neither am I suggesting a person needs reparative, or reversion therapy to make him “straight”.  I’m simply suggesting that one’s self image may need some adjustment - some healing.  After all, straight or gay, we are all male and female.

Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.

It is imperative that all men and women find our authentic identity in Christ, the new Adam, who by his incarnation, passion, death and ressurection has forever transfigured, transformed  humanity - thus in Christ we are a new creation, as St. Paul affirms.  In the incarnation, through the power of the ressurection, Christ mirrors to us the new Adam.  Just as in his life and mission, Christ mirrors - better yet, reveals to us the Father.  Thus, the healing service offered by the priest at the Courage conference was such an important dimension for the participants, permitting them to experience the restorative grace of Christ’s love.

2nd email. 

Here is another email describing the experience: 

terry-

you should have seen the way he (Father) held the men at the conference during the healing service.  grown men wept for sadness turned to joy, burying their faces in the crook of his arm, as he held them tightly - one arm wrapped round their shoulder, the other on the back of their head, pressing them close.  and the look.  the look of his face.  a deep well of love.  not a trace of movability or sentimentality.  chiseled in stone but warm to the touch.  i think of him and he warms me.  he wows me entirely.  and it’s because of the Spirit of Christ that lives within him; hearthfires and holocausts banked down deep, emanating from his person in holy warmth. - From an email. 

Earlier my friend wrote:

terry- it was simply an amazing time.  the healing service in particular was especially moving.  i’m not charismatic, but i was so wonderfully moved.  i had a “one-on-one” healing after the ceremony with 4 persons praying over me.  terry, it was freaky.  in  a very good way.  i’m still so full of the joy and peace resulting from that.  no one and no thing is gonna be able to take Him away from me. - From an email. 

The Divine Physician. 

Does that sound odd how the priest acted?  I don’t think it should.  This priest was certainly acting in persona Christi to these men - he tangibly brought the healing power of Jesus into their lives.   The priest cited here is obviously not gay, yet that issue would never bother him, since his deep spirituality is so obvious.  He clearly understands sin as sin, as well as the need to heal the effects of sin - and more deeply, the healing of the original wounds that were the cause of the sinful behavior in the first place.  His embrace of the men in the healing service demonstrates his chaste love and security in his own masculinity, and of course, his priesthood.  In many cases, I think homosexuality is simply a corruption of the natural need and desire for same sex friendship and love, creating a wider disunity between persons, who are by nature and sacrament brothers and sisters.  Everything contrary to Christ militates against genuine love and unity, sin is the source of division and disintegration.  This priest’s loving embrace and acceptance of these men, dramatically affirms  Christ’s triumph over the devil’s work of alienation and disorientation.

For a first hand report of the conference, read “Courageman“, a blog by a Courage member who was in attendence.  [My email friend just sent the link to me.]  There is also a local chapter of Courage in the Twin Cities, but I’m told it has a different name, if local people are interested, you can call the Chancery for more information.