Putting on airs…
Emulating religious models.
Carmelites always greet visitors at the turn with the exclamation, “Praised be Jesus Christ!” - the reply should be, “Now and forever!” It’s a beautiful custom, other religious orders have similar greetings signifying the presence of God. Yesterday, when Mother Marie called me, she didn’t use the normal conventual greeting, she simply said, “Hello, Terry, this is…” However, if I were to call the monastery, the nuns will answer the phone, “Carmelite monastery, praised be Jesus Christ!” Whenever I answer my phone I usually say, “This is Terry” - a business habit I haven’t gotten over. (With caller ID I can also answer more obnoxiously if I’m in the mood.) However, I like it when the nuns use the Carmelite greeting, but I don’t mind when they don’t either.
When my friend David and I first became ’close’ to the Carmelites - we began to greet people similarly. In the first place - we had been genuinely impressed with how faith-based the greeting is, and how it could be a sort of witness to outsiders. There was also an element of spiritual pride in it - we were letting people know we were ‘in the know’ spiritually, and pretty darn close to those holy Carmelites. In the end, I think we thought it rather pretentious on our part to answer the phone and greet people that way. So instead - we would only do it for fun, mimicking the tone of voice that characterized the nuns - it was fun to do with the seminarians. (I can still do it. LOL!)
Impersonations.
It happens with visitors to monasteries all of the time. In Church, I often could recognize recent visitors to New Melleray by the fact that they would bow rather than genuflect when reverencing the Blessed Sacrament, or make a simple sign of the cross at the Gospel rather than the 3 little ones we all make. It isn’t a bad thing, but it can be a way to “singularize” oneself - to use a monastic expression.
However, some people can be kind of ostentatious about stuff like that - although I’m sure their intentions are good. Frequently, families with children in orders such as Carmel adopt the same conventual customs in their daily lives. It is amazing how much more spiritual and devout families of cloistered religious become just because their child has entered a fervent community. It is often a beautiful witness to the vocation itself, and no doubt genuine. (Although I wonder what their less religious friends and relatives think when they answer the phone, “Praised be Jesus Christ!”)
Your ’holier than thou’ is showing.
I remember years ago, thanking a holy lay-brother who had done a favor for me with the Carmelite, “God reward you!” - That is often what the nuns say whenever they are thanking someone. The lay-brother knew I was thanking him, and I’m sure he knew I was trying to sound ‘holy’, yet without batting an eye he smiled and looked up to heaven and replied, “He already has!” I was kind of embarrassed because I felt my reply was rather pretentious, yet Br. George seemed to take no notice or offense, and by his answer demonstrated something much more authentic.
There is such a big difference between sounding holy or religious - using pious platitudes and expressions - than there is in actually being holy. Normally, I think it is better just to use ordinary expressions of politeness and leave conventual customs to the religious.
God reward you! 
August 27th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Terry:
My experiences with the Carmelites and even other pious priests and religious who use these expressions is awkwardness. I feel like if I don’t say the right thing I’m not in the loop, but if I do (and I never have) I would be putting myself on the same level as they are. Relative to many of the contemplatives and other very pious religious, I have a long, long way to go! That’s why I have never felt comfortable replying this way…I just don’t want to sound holy. I know this is just their way, and I do love this about them, but it can put some lay folks on the spot. Interesting post!
August 27th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Is New Melleray where you were a monk? If so, this is even more ironic about how your paths and my father’s crossed so many times. He used to take retreats/visits down there (I believe this is the place), usually with Father Leo Dynes and I think with Father Pingatore. This was way back in the late 70s/early 80s, I would estimate.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Monica - yep - that’s where I was - and Br. George did menial work in the kitchen guesthouse before I entered. He was a very holy man.
We have so many ties don’t we?
August 27th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Terry:
My father always called the monks at NM, Trappists. Is that how you referred to yourselves? There isn’t another Trappist Monastery in IA, is there?
Too many coincidences!
August 27th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Hmmm. The interesting thing is that many of these Christian greetings were not monastic or religious in origin at all. They were simply the greetings used by everybody in the context of a Christian culture. Such greetings are still used today especially in Eastern Europe. They also survive in other strongholds of Catholic culture like Southern Italy and Austria. (Generally such greeting and thanking usages are found where there are still public processions and, yes, the custom of kissing the hands of the priest!) My Irish Dad still says “God rest his soul” or even “Lord have mercy on him,” when he mentions a deceased person.
American Catholics were mightily pressured to conform to the WASP model of doing everything. The only thing that seems to have survived is the “God bless you!” when one sneezes! In the face of the dominant and often threatening Protestant culture, Catholic greetings and other customs survived only within cloisters. “But it was not so in the beginning . . . .”
August 27th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
It is ironic that Catholic immigrants used to say of those who adopted WASPspeak that they were “putting on airs.” Now, if one talks like a Catholic, one risks being criticized for “putting on airs.” People say the “F” word right and left in all sorts of company, but wouldn’t dream of bringing the name of Our Lord into a conversation because that is considered . . . in poor taste! Gimme a break!
Even the black lady who panhandles downtown says to me when I give her some change, “Jesus gonna bless you good, honey.” Kind of like, “God reward you,” isn’t it? I am so tired of everyone being expected to conform to secular American Calvinism. And I’m not talking about Calvin Klein.
August 27th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Sorry. Before posting I should have said, “Benedicite!” and waited for you to reply, “Dominus,” Terry. That is a favourite monastic custom of mine.
August 27th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Monica - yes, they are commonly referred to as Trappists - I was only a novice when there.
Don Marco - That is true. I still hear a lot of people say “God rest his soul” etc.. Some toasts have Christian foundation as well. An old Irish nun I knew always responded, “God willing.” when people would tell her they would see her tomorrow.
In the office where I worked (Catholic company) I always cracked up when a person with allergies would sneeze repetitively, with the other employees sounding like a bunch of parrots shouting out over their cubicles, “God bless you!” - over and over and over, every time she sneezed.
I probably didn’t express myself well in the post. Maybe I’ll clear it up at a later date and speak to how some people actually begin to start speaking like religious do - adopting vocal inflections and mannerisms in a sort of decorous manner - that’s just a hard one for me to write about however - but this post was inspired more along those lines. I’ll dramatize it here (purely fictionalized of course!):
Scene: A mother of a Carmelite greeting me at Church: Head tilt, melt in your hand sweet smile, tears seemingly ready to well into eyes, angelic voice;
Mom: (Greeting me.) “Praised be Jesus Christ Terry!”
Me: “Hi, how are you?”
Mom: “Ooooooooooooooh! God reward you for asking! We are fine.” (Notice the “we”.)
Me: “Well, you look good!” (What else can I say to her?)
Mom: “Oooooooooooooooooooh! Praise God! You are so kind! God love you, Terry!”
Me: “Have you heard how M. Paula is doing?”
Mom: “God bless you for asking, Terry. We don’t really know for sure, but if you would ask Mother Prioress, I’m sure she could tell you more. God love you now! Bye, bye!”
See where I was going with this whole thing? It gets to be kind of Sr. Mary-Tammy-Faye after awhile. It strikes me as rather phony.
That’s just me observing behavior however, on a slow blogging day. :) And- LOL!
August 27th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Got it, dude.
August 27th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Don Marco - I was going to mention Benedicite/Dominus - other people would be familiar with that from “This House of Brede”. I hope my previous comment explained my point better… it is so difficult to write so that no one is offended. A lot of the things I write like this I should maybe label, “Been there - done that” - then people may not get so verklempft.
Benedicite!
August 28th, 2007 at 5:31 am
Benedicite/Dominus
What does this mean?
May God reward you for your kind reply.
Pax et Bonum,
K