Pardon and peace.
Praying for enemies.
When we pray for our enemies, it doesn’t mean we are trying to make them like us, or even treat us better, much less get them to be our friend. In some cases, we have all we can do to think a kind thought in their regard. We may be ‘filled with contempt and the proud man’s disdain’ (Ps. 122) - or we may be humiliated, hurt, and suffering because of our enemy’s actions. As a result, we can feel entirely devoid of any love for them, held captive by our remembrance of wrongs committed against us.
To pray for one’s enemies is a tremendous, generous work of mercy - it may even be better than fasting on bread and water. This prayer causes us to participate in God’s merciful love and providence, “He who makes the sun shine on the good and the bad.” More deeply, what this prayer does is opens our own heart to healing, immersing our souls in God’s love. Oftentimes, the more disinterested the prayer, the more the prayer seems to soften our hearts, moving us to excuse and even pardon the other person, and to no longer wish them evil, but to hope for their good - content not to see results if need be.
Indeed, we may not see any immediate or obvious change in our enemy, but we often see a change in our self, especially in the experience of pardon and peace. When you find yourself unable to forgive, pray for your enemies.
(Art: Giotto; St. Francis renouncing his patrimony.)
August 30th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Amen.
August 31st, 2007 at 4:00 am
This is a great message that cannot be repeated enough.
The first time I tried it (as an adult, when I was consumed with anger with someone over something quite petty), I was incapable of coming up with a good thought about her, so I just offered a “canned” Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be for her intention. It was the best I could do at the time. Even with that very weak prayer for an “enemy,” the black cloud over my head immediately lifted. I’ve also seen these prayers work changes in the enemies - when I pray for people who are harming me in some way, not only does my attitude toward them change, but in several instances I am convinced that their attitude toward me changed as well, and for no apparent reason (other than the prayers).
I have gotten better at praying for enemies with practice. I usually ask God to grant them every good thing that they need (whatever that may be), to grant me the grace to forgive, and to grant them the grace to forgive me for any wrongs that I may have done to them.
Another good way to pray for enemies is to pray that they will go to Heaven. I sometimes offer a whole Glorious Mysteries for them. It sure helps MY attitude, and sometimes I realize that I really DO want them to go to Heaven — in other words, maybe I didn’t hate them as much as I thought I did . . . or, maybe God just changed my heart that much in answer to my prayers.
August 31st, 2007 at 6:14 am
Did you post this just because my mother-in-law is visiting?
August 31st, 2007 at 7:32 am
Readers may want to look at this:
http://vultus.stblogs.org/2007/02/praying_for_ones_enemies.h tml
August 31st, 2007 at 10:49 am
Thanks Don Marco.
Cris - I posted before I read that she was coming to stay. You have the situation under control with the drinking - that will make it fun. LOL!
Robin - I’ve seen remarkable changes in the enemy as well - but not always. However, when the situation hasn’t changed, my understandingof the other usually does.