Abbey-Roads2

When priests leave the priesthood.

I was stunned when I read it had been announced Fr. Francis Mary Stone (Life On The Rock  fame) has taken a leave of absence to discern… It seems he has fallen in love with a widow he had been helping.  Prayers are requested of course - he still hasn’t left the priesthood - there is still a chance he will remain a priest, as had Thomas Merton after he supposedly fell in love with a woman. 

I’ve known other priests who have left to get married, some to men, and others who left because of sexual misconduct.  I always feel let down when that happens.  Not so much by the priest, or the Church, or even God - but I just have a general feeling of deep disappointment.

Temptation.

My first temptation is to think, “What’s the use?  Why try to be holy?”  If a priest can leave his vocation behind, why do I feel so guilty about some stupid every-day failure in virtue?  I quickly recover my senses and realize we are all human, we all make mistakes, we are all weak, we all fall - I know all of that.  But I still feel like I got the wind knocked out of me.  I still feel as if I’ve been cheated out of a priest, or worse, his vocation was somehow just a sham.  And once again, my better judgement kicks in and I realize something just went wrong - that’s all.   Stuff happens.

It is like a divorce - although not nearly as common.  Divorce harms a family though.  Even amicable divorces do harm, causing mistrust, insecurities, disruption of values and lifestyle, and so on.  In a way, a priest who abandons his vocation seems like a dad leaving his wife and kids.  It hurts the family. 

Lack of commitment. 

Married clergy doesn’t seem to be the answer - although most people would say it is.  When men live in community, the community is supposed to be like a family, an added support in one’s vocation.  In a sense, the priest in community has it better than a lonely diocesan priest.  If we had married priests, they could divorce their wives and leave the priesthood too.

Commitment doesn’t seem to mean anything any longer. 

Justice and peace have kissed. - Psalm 85

Years ago my mother amused a seminarian friend of mine when she told him, “I always pray for their dead souls.”  I believe she meant to say, “The souls of the dead.”  Despite her mistake, it was good for a laugh. 

The souls in purgatory are not dead, they are very much alive in that firey waiting room before heaven.  Purgatory  is a state of purification the imperfect enters before the soul can see God face to face in the beatific vision.  The torments and pains suffered in purgatory are said to be much greater than any one of us can imagine.

I once found consolation in the writings of St. Catherine of Genoa who said the soul in purgatory, though suffering, also experiences a certain peace in the knowledge it is saved.  I’m not sure her vision of purgatory always affords me much consolation now however.  When one reads how saints and mystics, who claimed to meet various souls from purgatory - pleading for prayers and suffrages to alleviate their sufferings - it suggests to me those souls weren’t exactly in a state of contentment and comfort…

Mercy and truth have embraced. - Psalm 85

Although, after having experienced the particular judgement and thereby knowing it is saved, surely the soul would possess a certain contentment in this knowledge.  Also, the soul must clearly understand the justice of God in permitting its purification, as well as the incredible mercy of God which granted pardon for its sins.  Hence, wouldn’t there be a certain spiritual joy, in addition to its peace?  And as the purification progresses, wouldn’t the soul likewise grow in the love of God? 

Oh my God!  I hope so!  

Art:  Fernando Botero.  Detail: fresco from Chiesa San Antonio, Pietrasanta, Italy.