Feelings…
Do they count?
Most people realize that feelings do not count much in the spiritual life - it’s nice when you ‘feel’ good, and when you ‘feel’ bad, it’s not so nice. When you ‘feel’ nothing, it means just that - nothing. Holiness is in the will. Even when it comes to sorrow for sin - and this is important to remember for those of us who are habitual sinners. Sometimes we fall and we mistakenly think we are our sin and we don’t ‘feel’ sorry - yet deep in our soul - we know we are sorry.
“My inner self agrees with the law of God” - Romans 7:22
When we commit a sin and repent and go to confession, we know we are sorry, but if we are discouraged or enduring difficult times, we may not ‘feel’ the sorrow - there are no tears of contrition, no anguish of heart - although we say we are sorry. (If we were not contrite, why would we have made an act of contrition and sought reconciliation in the sacrament of penance?) If we are scrupulous, we may doubt our contrition - precisely because we may not ‘feel’ it. I think that is a temptation however.
This morning’s Magnificat meditation reminded me of this.
“As we know, we have to be sorry for our sins. Not necessarily in the sense of feeling sorry, because our feelings are not sufficiently in our own control. Sorrow for our sins is the matter of the will, not of the affections, and what is required is that we should unite our wills, although it be by an act which seems to awake no echo in the sensitive part of us, with the will of God. Nor is it expected of us, that we should feel certain we shall not fall into the same sins again. We know the weakness of our natures, and often the best we can do is throw ourselves on God’s mercy with the prayer that his grace will enable us to void sin thenceforward. We are also bound to go to confession, if we have reason to suspect that we are in mortal sin…” - Monsignor Ronald Knox
I think we place much too much emphasis upon feelings.
