Feelings…
Do they count?
Most people realize that feelings do not count much in the spiritual life - it’s nice when you ‘feel’ good, and when you ‘feel’ bad, it’s not so nice. When you ‘feel’ nothing, it means just that - nothing. Holiness is in the will. Even when it comes to sorrow for sin - and this is important to remember for those of us who are habitual sinners. Sometimes we fall and we mistakenly think we are our sin and we don’t ‘feel’ sorry - yet deep in our soul - we know we are sorry.
“My inner self agrees with the law of God” - Romans 7:22
When we commit a sin and repent and go to confession, we know we are sorry, but if we are discouraged or enduring difficult times, we may not ‘feel’ the sorrow - there are no tears of contrition, no anguish of heart - although we say we are sorry. (If we were not contrite, why would we have made an act of contrition and sought reconciliation in the sacrament of penance?) If we are scrupulous, we may doubt our contrition - precisely because we may not ‘feel’ it. I think that is a temptation however.
This morning’s Magnificat meditation reminded me of this.
“As we know, we have to be sorry for our sins. Not necessarily in the sense of feeling sorry, because our feelings are not sufficiently in our own control. Sorrow for our sins is the matter of the will, not of the affections, and what is required is that we should unite our wills, although it be by an act which seems to awake no echo in the sensitive part of us, with the will of God. Nor is it expected of us, that we should feel certain we shall not fall into the same sins again. We know the weakness of our natures, and often the best we can do is throw ourselves on God’s mercy with the prayer that his grace will enable us to void sin thenceforward. We are also bound to go to confession, if we have reason to suspect that we are in mortal sin…” - Monsignor Ronald Knox
I think we place much too much emphasis upon feelings.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I love that you posted on this today. I tend towards excoriating scrupulosity, and often beat myself up for not feeling more sorry for my sins than I think I am. Does that make sense? Thanks for this.
November 12th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
For me, even in lukewarm times without difficulties, illness or struggles, I find it harder to “feel” the contrition. I guess it means I should do more praying instead of less to get past this point.
November 12th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
It can happen the other way around, too; that one feels deep anguish and regret over a sin or sins, but is unable to come to a firm purpose of ammendment. Which just goes back to your point, that “holiness is in the will”.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Melody, it is interesting that you present the same point from a different perspective. Because the contrite soul may indeed abhor the sin, confess it, yet succumb to temptation and sin again - thus believing he did not have a firm purpose of amendment to begin with. Yet he did - he was simply powerless to avoid falling once again. It is the mystery of sin - especially habitual sin. The purpose of amendment - no matter how firm - may be there, but the habit of sin can be so strong as to over-ride the best intentions. In an unmortified, or spiritualy immature person, strong temptation can overcome the most firm purpose of amendment. The sinner who struggles is always the valiant warrior, no matter how many defeats or inconsistencies he encounters in himself. The weakest purpose of amendment is better than no effort at amendment. The man with a humble and contrite heart is the one God will not spurn - even when he does not feel it. To humbly say to God - I don’t want to give up this sin - please help me - while he tries to amend his life - I think that man goes away justified.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Thanks for this, Terry.
It helps.
November 13th, 2007 at 7:09 am
When I first saw the heading for today, an awful song immediately came to mind - thanks for not going there!
Too often, we are bound by our “feelings”, whether they be good or bad, or simply neutral, and find our comfort in their familiarity. But in that still, dark, quiet night of our soul, is where our feelings truly dwell, calling out to God, and by His indwelling, find the true comfort that enables us to get up, brush ourselves off, and face another day.
Thank you, Terry!
November 13th, 2007 at 11:33 am
I used to think I wasn’t praying right because it sounded like other people were having prayergasms and I just felt like a lump in a cold church. Thanks, Terry!
November 13th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
That meditation by Msgr. Knox from Magnificat really resonated with me last night too. I admit it, I read ahead sometimes! I’m not contrite about that.
November 13th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
“Because the contrite soul may indeed abhor the sin, confess it, yet succumb to temptation and sin again - thus believing he did not have a firm purpose of amendment to begin with.”
This was my problem for months. I had a very nice Dominican priest set me straight. He called me a Calvinist heretic in the confessional… it was said with love of course.
I learned a lot from him that day.
Interesting, the two major acts of spiritual Charity I have had expressed to me were from Dominicans.
November 13th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
When I went to the University of Utah–nursing school–the big push was to express your feelings–and not only were we to express our feelings–as nurses we were to encourage our patients to express their feelings–I am so sick of feelings! The big joke between me and my friends was–”well, how does that make you feel?”
We used it mostly when we were sick of the bull$*%). How do you think someone who just got cut open in surgery feels? He feels bad–give him some pain drugs–sheesh that’s a big duh!
Feelings can be extremely distructive and deceptive. Lets see, do I want to eat one piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream or two–I “feel” like two. When I see a good looking guy I “feel” like–well you know.
Feelings can also be good. When I see my husband he makes me “feel” good. When I go to work and do a good job, I “feel” good.
What the bottom line with feelings is–are they in conformity with what Jesus wants WWJD? Not what does my conscience or feelings tell me, but what does Jesus tell me. If the feelings are against Him–sheesh–resist them. But in comformity with Christ–enjoy them.
Well, how does that make your feel? LOL