Abbey-Roads2

Sanctification of one’s state in life. 

I once worked with a woman who had desired to become a nun, but she fell in love and got married instead.  She actually worried she had chosen a lesser vocation and argued that marriage and virginity should be considered equally.  Yet the Church has always praised virginity as the highest state, simply because it can be compared to the angelic state, since angelic spirits do not marry.  In fact, the life of virginity anticipates the life in heaven.

Having said that - evaluating both states in such a manner is completely based on human judgment and standards.  It is not God’s way, but man’s way of seeing things.  What is important to any state of life, is doing God’s will.  If one is called to marriage, and one accepts the call, entering into the sacramental state of marriage can become a school of holiness.  A married person can become a saint just as well as a celibate person.

Another debate that goes round and round is whether or not the single life is a vocation.  Again - the issue gets confused.  Catholic single life necessarily implies virginity, not always consecrated by religious profession, and/or, even if lost - restored by the Blood of Christ in the sacrament of penance.  In my opinion, it is the state of virginity that is the essence of the “single vocation” - not being single or working at a particular job.

St. John Chrysostom on virginity.

“As you do, I also think that virginity is a good thing, better than the nuptial life. I add that it is as superior to the nuptial life as Heaven is superior to earth, or as Angels to men. 

Man, however, even though he is inferior to the angelic spirits, zealously and carefully seeks to be as much like them as he can. How does he do so? 

Angels do not marry, neither does the virgin man. Angels live before God always at His service; so does the virgin man. Human nature, which bears the weight of the body, cannot ascend to Heaven as the Angels do; however, to compensate such deficiency, man has the greatest possible consolation, that is, by living pure of body and soul, he can receive and posses in the Eucharist the King of Heaven.” - Source 

 Ordinary life.

Of course, scholars, theologians, saints, have all written on this subject, and students and religious continue to debate these things all of the time.  I prefer my simple understanding based upon common sense.  If you are single, and you are Catholic - male or female, you live a chaste, celibate life  - hence, you are called to live a life of virginity - it seems to me that is the vocation.