Thoughts from Jacq…
The Servant of God wrote: (to the monk who befriended him in prison)
“You are right little brother when you say, ‘I know Satan is prowling around you…’ How he must gloat at the sight of my impressionable soul, which can’t possibly rise above itself without the help of extraordinary divine gifts. I have no strength, I lack the charity which would soften my heart, and I do not possess the gift of wisdom; but I believe that at this painful time the Lord has given me that gift of understanding ‘which enlightens us with its keen rays, and gives us certitude regarding the true meaning of the Word of God.’
Despite all my rebellion and lack of zeal and emthusiasm for a life of communion with God, I know with absolute certainty that I am surrounded by grace and love and the the Lord wants to save me in spite of myself. Fiat, Lord! You know me, and you know I am incapable of saving myself without your constant help. But this will of mine which says Fiattoday will say tomorrow, ‘Take your hand away from me - for I am suffocating.’
There is still a good deal of rancor in my soul, which of course stems from pride and leads me to do things I regret. Do you know, sometimes I think, in good faith and with horror, that the only way I can be saved is perhaps not to be saved in the human sense of the word?” (Editor’s note: I believe he is referring to his execution which had gone through various appeals. However he accepted his sentence as justice, in peace, and died a holy death.) He finished by writing, “Confidence, confidence, little brother!…
In three days it will be Pentecost, little brother. May the Lord make me understand a little more deply the wonder of his love. If I could make a wish, it would be that I might be able to appreciate more completely the fact that all that is happening to me comes from His mercy, and that if I am to be rejected and discarded by men it is because the Lord wants to give me the greatest of all goods; glory in the risen Christ.” -Jacques Fesch, “Light Over the Scaffold, Letters of Jacques Fesch and Cell 18″ - Mother Mary Thomas Noble, translator.
