Abbey-Roads2

I thought homosexual inclination is not a sin?

It isn’t.  The Church recognizes homosexual sex as disordered and sinful, yet the inclination itself is not sinful… however disordered.  The Church does not ask the homosexual to change his orientation, simply to refrain from acting out - to remain chaste and avoid sin.  In fact, the organization “Courage” was formed to help men and women to live chaste and celibate lives in accord with Church teaching.

Gay and Catholic bloggers.

There are several Catholic websites operated by Catholic persons with homosexual inclination - some in accord with Church teaching, others not so much - if at all.  One faithful website is “Eve Tushnet”, I don’t read her or another popular site, “Dreadnought” mainly because I find them hard to read - much of the time I don’t know what they are talking about.  However, once while reading Tushnet I happened upon a comment she made explaining that she doesn’t waste time trying to figure out why she is same sex attracted.  I was surprised by that.  Especially since self-knowledge is so fundamental to the developmental and maturation process of persons, not to mention that it (humility) is the foundation of an authentic spiritual life.

Perhaps I misunderstand the gay Catholics.

That said, I have always held the opinion that if a person seeking to leave the homosexual lifestyle continues to identify as “gay” this in fact keeps the person attached to the lifestyle.  A great push is on for homosexuality to be considered natural, claiming a person is born gay - that it is a sort of “third way” or natural variant, and so on.  Obviously taking that approach leaves the door open for approving same sex behaviors, ss dating, ss civil unions and marriage.  In secular culture at least.  However, when Catholics cling to a homosexual identity within the Church, it seems to me they may be unconsciously contributing to the same line of thought and thereby affecting Church teaching to some extent.  (IMHO)

NARTH

Fr. Harvey, one of the founders of Courage has always said that for some people (maybe most) a complete change of orientation is not possible - this might especially apply to older men and women who have lived a gay life for most of their lives, as well as some others.  Yet chastity and celibacy, even in a same sex friendship is indeed possible.  Truth be told, some highly motivated persons can and do change their sexual orientation, even though the Church does not require them to do so.

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi. 

I came across this information in my reserch on the subject, and more recently while researching “defensive detachment”.  Dr. Nicolosi has pioneered the studies in this field, and although I’ve not read his work before, I came across a very enlightening interview, especially as it considers the origins of homosexuality in some persons.  I’ll post excerpts here:

Interview:

The Good News: What is homosexuality and how do you define it?

Joseph Nicolosi:Homosexuality is a developmental disorder. It has nothing to do with sex. It’s really the person’s search for belonging, what we call the three “As” attention, affection and approval. These are the normal, emotional affectional needs, which have been sexualized.

GN: In your book Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality, you use the expression “non-gay homosexual.” What exactly is meant by that?

JN: Well, we make a distinction between homosexual and gay. Unfortunately, too many people think they’re synonymous and that’s due to the success of the gay activists who have sold people on the idea that to be homosexual means they’re automatically gay.

But there is a population we’re concerned with, in particular, whom we call the non-gay homosexual, which is to say they have same-sex attractions, they have same-sex feelings, and they even engage in same-sex behavior, but they do not identify with the gay sociopolitical identity. They see themselves as having heterosexual values and want to live a heterosexual life.

GN: Is it possible to change from homosexual to heterosexual?

JN: Yes. There are many studies that show many men and women do come out of homosexuality. We see more and more of the evidence, more and more of those studies; and if the person is highly motivated there is a very good chance that he or she can come out of homosexuality.

GN: How do you help someone who wants to change?

JN:They have to begin to understand the origins of their homosexuality. It’s not about sex. These are emotional needs, and in therapy you direct the client to address these emotional needs. These needs usually go back to the father - not having enough of the father’s love, enough of the father’s affirmation, and they begin to get these needs met in more authentic ways, ways that really transform a person rather than the sexual, which is a kind of repetitive and nonproductive attempt at meeting those emotional needs. - Hope For Homosexuals

Makes sense to me.  I also find it interesting that Nicolosi states that homosexuality has nothing to do with sex (obviously it does superficially); his statement reminds me of what experts say about rape - that it has nothing to do with sex, but rather power and the humiliation of the victim.

Art: The Rape of Ganymede

It’s gay.

LOL!  Well, kinda, sorta.  It (DD) is a therapeutic term used for persons who consider their homosexuality more as a developmental disorder.  I believe it is a relatively new term originating in the research of therpists dealing with homosexuality as a treatable, and sometimes curable condition.  A leader in this reparative therapy is Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, I will let him explain what DD really is:

Defensive detachment is really the psychological armor, barrier or defense of the personality which keeps homosexuality alive. You might see defensive detachment as a sort of cell that protects the person and also protects the homosexuality inside. It’s an anticipation of being hurt and rejected by other men. And this comes from the earlier rejection by the father.

The predicament of the male homosexual is that he is sexually attracted to men but, because of his defensive detachment, keeps an emotional distance from them. It prevents him from getting what he really wants, which is to have those emotional needs met. So the focus of therapy is to get him to drop that defensive detachment so he can allow himself to experience the healing benefits of non-sexual, intimate male relationships. - Source 

My non-gay use of the term.

Call me presumptuous, but I believe the term ‘defensive detachment’ works for other disorders as well, indeed, I think it can be given an entirely different meaning for ascetical purposes, wherein detachment is a key ingredient for spiritual growth.  That said, I also think the term may be applied to other conditions or disorders.

Take the alcoholic for instance, his withdrawal and isolation from friends, family, and social situations, might be termed ‘defensive detachment’ - in so far as he uses it to facilitate his drinking.  I’m not a psychologist of course, but I like the term so well that I use it in relationship to the life of the pilgrim or fool for Christ, in the sense of a purely ascetical practice.

“The watchmen came upon me as they made the city rounds, and they struck me and wounded me.”  - Song of Songs 5:7

Humility and detachment play a vital part in the lives of such ascetics.  In order to protect their spiritual way of life, they necessarily employ a form of DD.  They leave home, property, family, and in the case of St. Alexius - a wife, to pursue a life of prayer and penance.  If for some reason, their hidden life of devotion and good works is discovered by others along the way, and the pilgrim is soon accorded accolades or respect, or honors, for his talents, virtue, or holiness, the ascetic resumes his pilgrimage, fleeing the company and legitimate friendship of men. 

Therefore, this ‘flight’ may be understood as a form of ‘defensive detachment’ - to avoid all forms of pride and vainglory or preferential treatment.  He seeks to avoid all honors or position, even the notion of leading or directing others, lest he fall into the trap of trying to control rather than living abandoned to Divine Providence.  Thus to protect his spiritual life - that is, to remain faithful to his call - he is unable to oblige the company of men, particular intimacies and friendships, as well as social obligations; and often-times legitimate employment itself does not work out. 

“I hardly left them when I found him whom my heart loves.” - Song of Songs 3:4

For the pilgrim, it is much the same as a person fleeing an occasion of sin, or avoiding a person, place or thing which may pose a near occasion of sin.   It is practically a required penance or discipline, a ‘defensive detachment”.  For if a pilgrim would consent to normal intercourse with others, he would soon lose the grace of God, who in order to share his humility and abasement with him, calls him apart from following the crowd. 

“And then we will go on

To the high caverns in the rock

Which are so well concealed;

There we shall enter

and taste the fresh juice of the

pomegranates.”  - Spiritual Canticle; 36