Abbey-Roads2

Once there were two sisters…

Martha was the sister of Mary - the Mary people used to say had been a whore - but when morals plummeted in the 20th century and whores became commonplace, Mary became known as a feminist and an evangelist.  Both sisters lived with  their brother Lazarus - who was thought to be quite a stinker until Jesus raised him from the dead.  (Did you know when he was raised from the dead he was naked except for a winding cloth?!)

So anyway, Martha had panic attacks and would get very nervous while doing all the housework, while Mary usually sat calmly, sipping tea, twirling her hair, studying ”A Course In Miracles”.  This may explain why she (Martha) took a lot of valium, only it really wasn’t valium in those days, although she did grow poppies in the garden along with hemp - just to make rope and sandals of course.  (Martha knew the truth about Mary’s past and that is probably why she often became so indignant with her.)

Nevertheless - Martha loved to entertain (sounds like another Martha, doesn’t it?), and that is why she had the apostles over so often.  One day, while very busy on the set of her home-decorating-cooking show for the Bethanites, everyone showed up unexpectedly, hoping to eat and drink.  Mary, always the party girl, joined the guests and just sat on the window sill, with a goofy smile on her lips, listening to all the repartee.  After awhile, Martha complained about Mary being such a lay-about, although, when she was told she (Mary) had chosen the better part, Martha literally “threw in the towel” (which is how we got that saying today BTW), and told everyone to help themselves to the food (which is how buffets originated BTW), and Martha decided to do her own thing (which is what hippies did in the late ’60’s BTW).  Of course the family was always very fashionable, if not countercultural, and the story might have  ended there…

Yet few people knew Martha had been a portrait artist - that is why so many icons of Our Lady are mistakenly attributed to St. Luke instead - St. Luke was a doctor - a podiatrist in fact.  Some say that after rehab, Mary worked for a time as his nurse-receptionist, and she ordinarily washed the patients feet (with her hair!) before they could see the doctor - although that may have been a medieval invention.  (But you see how these stories can get all mixed up when you have an agenda.)  Anyway, that day Martha decided to paint her lay-about sister Mary’s portrait - as she sat on the window sill.  Yes, you guessed it - the painting became known throughout the world as the “Mona Lisa” and has been wrongly attributed to Leonardo Da Vinci ever since the 16th century. 

I know, I know - but the family name of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus was Winschki (’W’ pronounced like ‘V’), which Italianated became Vinci - the name of the town Leonardo was from in Italy.  (Leo’s mother’s maiden name was Winschki - his dad’s name was Nardino - so Leo took Leonardo as his nome de plume, if you will - and someone else attached Da Vinci - the “Da” meaning “of” or “from” Vinci in Italian - I forget which.)  Anyway, how the painting came into his possession is still a mystery, and another story entirely, although it could possibly make an interesting book and movie.

The End

(This story is totally fabricated, just like the Da Vinci Code and dissident interpretations of scripture.  You know - like the one about the centurion and his gay-slave-lover he asked Jesus to heal.  As if!) 

Secular press calls the Holy Father the biggest homophobe on the planet…

And yet uber-Catholics post photos like this inviting irreverent and sophomoric comments and captions.  How very, very sad.  Sad, sad, sad - to see unemployed people wasting their vocation and academic achievements on such nonsensical theatrics. 

Elderly nuns chain themselves at protest.

I know!  Sisters, you have to go through the proper channels, don’t make a spectacle of yourselves!  Oh!  Those silly Italians.  Story here.

“Two elderly Italian nuns chained themselves to a lamp post outside the Vatican on Sunday claiming they had been wrongly expelled from their cloistered convent and wanted Pope Benedict to help them return.

The two women, Sister Albina Locantore, 73 and Teresa Izzi, 79, remained in locks and chains on the edge of St Peter’s Square for several hours, including the some 20 minutes while the pope delivered his weekly message and blessing.

The two women told reporters they had left their convent of Carmelite nuns in central Italy for several months for health reasons but when they returned the mother superior refused to let them back in the cloistered convent.

The mother superior accused them of disobedience and banished them, the nuns said.” - Source

One of the nuns held up a placard reading: “Your Holiness, we are neither prostitutes, nor violent, nor thieves, nor mentally infirm”.  All rightey then.

Imagine - at their age, trying to singularize themselves! 

Envy, and defamation… Oh my!

That is what the Cardinal was talking about recently to members of the clergy:

The former archbishop of Milan, Carlo Maria Cardinal Martini, warned fellow Jesuits at a meeting near Rome that the most common sins in the Church (speaking about and to clergy on the occasion) were vanity, envy and defamation. He said, “We think, why did someone else receive what rightfully belongs to me? There are people eaten up by envy, thinking, ‘why has he been made a bishop and not me?’

So there we have the envy thing - who didn’t know that?  For instance, after parish assignments are announced, someone  may say, “Why did he get St. So and So and not me?”  Or,  “They made him a bishop?  Who does he know?”  Or, “He was given his own diocese?  Good riddance - but how does he rate?”  That’s just dinner conversation, with a bit of defamation possibly thrown in - along with cigars and brandy.  Ah!  That was the old days though.

But vanity?

Vanity could be encountered frequently, too: “Vanity is great in the Church, it shows in the vestments. In the past, cardinals wore an 18-foot silk cape. Constantly, the Church decorates itself with pointless ornaments, it has a tendency towards vanity.” - Source: Cafeteria- News story  translation by Gerald Naus

Now that could be coming back. 

Photo credit:  Dappled Photos - Cappa magna.

Surprisingly, some of the same things they do in life.

They wail and grind their teeth. (Matthew 24: 51)

They scoff, they mock, they wag their heads, like ravening and roaring lions.  (Psalm 22: 8, 14)

I’m told it is not a very hospitable place.

“Why would God Chastise China?”

This may be another reason non-believers like to hate Christians.  Right in the middle of a great disaster and huge loss of life, that even secular media is calling apocalyptic, some religious person comes out with an article about God chastising China.   If indeed God was busy chastising China - the world ought to recognize the chastisement is meant for us as well.  What did our Lord say in the Gospel about the towers that fell?  “You will all come to the same end unless you repent.” 

“California Court Legalizes Same Sex Marriage.” 

And people are surprised?  The Court was divided- but the issue passed anyway - and if it goes to the US Supreme Court, I’m sure it will be thrown out.  The SS marriage issue is nothing more than an economic issue.  SSA couples simply want the legal rights heterosexual couples and their families enjoy - it’s not really about love.    In the American pantheon of idols; tax, health and monetary benefits, along with entitlements, are two of the most important.  (Even though Ellen was in love with Ann Heche, she will now wed Portia de Rossi, who is much prettier BTW.) 

“What’s with all the gay stuff?”

A question frequently asked here.  but just check out Lifesite News - there is always gay agenda stuff there.

That’s all.

Oprah’s entire show today was dedicated to past life regression.

I imagine Oprah fans will be coming out in droves with stories of their own past lives now.  I got into this stuff when I was about 20 - my friend Jim told me he had been a monk in Russia before the revolution, and I was convinced I had been Tsar Nicholas - which, if it was possible, could have explained why I’m such an idiot in this life.  Anyway, we figured all of this out after we saw the movie Nicholas and Alexandra.  (Our other friends were all from the lost continent of Atlantis.)

I love myth!  And no - I do not believe in reincarnation.

(I’ll bet Monica watched!)

As regards vocation.

When I was much younger and voluteered at the Little Sisters of the Poor - not when I was a kid, but as a young adult - most, if not all of the sisters knew I was thinking about a vocation to religious life.  One day one of the sisters who wasn’t very impressed with me asked what order I was thinking about.  I mentioned that I was attracted to Charles de Foucauld’s Little Brothers of Jesus.  Sister laughed mockingly, and shook her head saying, “You’ll never make it!”  She then waved me off and walked away.

“If a good man reproves me, it is kindness.”

Confusion in the pews.

In the new calendar April 30th is the feast of Pius V who actually standardized the Mass.  (Trads-more-trad-than-trads love him!  In their opinion, there hasn’t been a pope (like him) since.)  But in the old calendar, today is the feast of St. Catherine of Siena, who BTW wasn’t a Doctor in the old calendar, although she is a Doctor of the Church in the new calendar - oh, and her feast was yesterday.  Then tomorrow is Ascension Day in the old (and in the new) calendar, but we don’t have to attend Mass in this archdiocese to observe the feast until Sunday - because it was transferred.  So, if we want to do a novena from the Ascension to Pentecost, doesn’t that mean it is shortened?  Is that a real novena then?  (It doesn’t really confuse me - but maybe some of my readers get confused.)

And then there is the question of Rogation  days and Ember days!  What are they anyway?  Isn’t that funny?  It doesn’t bother me, though it may bother people who follow the old calendar exclusively.  You see, for many of these folks, freeing up the TLM was never the only issue - not a few have problems with Vatican II itself.  [As do many others who insist they simply want the option of the TLM, while claiming  they accept the Conciliar reforms of Vatican II.  Right.]