Abbey-Roads2

Once there were two sisters…

Martha was the sister of Mary - the Mary people used to say had been a whore - but when morals plummeted in the 20th century and whores became commonplace, Mary became known as a feminist and an evangelist.  Both sisters lived with  their brother Lazarus - who was thought to be quite a stinker until Jesus raised him from the dead.  (Did you know when he was raised from the dead he was naked except for a winding cloth?!)

So anyway, Martha had panic attacks and would get very nervous while doing all the housework, while Mary usually sat calmly, sipping tea, twirling her hair, studying ”A Course In Miracles”.  This may explain why she (Martha) took a lot of valium, only it really wasn’t valium in those days, although she did grow poppies in the garden along with hemp - just to make rope and sandals of course.  (Martha knew the truth about Mary’s past and that is probably why she often became so indignant with her.)

Nevertheless - Martha loved to entertain (sounds like another Martha, doesn’t it?), and that is why she had the apostles over so often.  One day, while very busy on the set of her home-decorating-cooking show for the Bethanites, everyone showed up unexpectedly, hoping to eat and drink.  Mary, always the party girl, joined the guests and just sat on the window sill, with a goofy smile on her lips, listening to all the repartee.  After awhile, Martha complained about Mary being such a lay-about, although, when she was told she (Mary) had chosen the better part, Martha literally “threw in the towel” (which is how we got that saying today BTW), and told everyone to help themselves to the food (which is how buffets originated BTW), and Martha decided to do her own thing (which is what hippies did in the late ’60’s BTW).  Of course the family was always very fashionable, if not countercultural, and the story might have  ended there…

Yet few people knew Martha had been a portrait artist - that is why so many icons of Our Lady are mistakenly attributed to St. Luke instead - St. Luke was a doctor - a podiatrist in fact.  Some say that after rehab, Mary worked for a time as his nurse-receptionist, and she ordinarily washed the patients feet (with her hair!) before they could see the doctor - although that may have been a medieval invention.  (But you see how these stories can get all mixed up when you have an agenda.)  Anyway, that day Martha decided to paint her lay-about sister Mary’s portrait - as she sat on the window sill.  Yes, you guessed it - the painting became known throughout the world as the “Mona Lisa” and has been wrongly attributed to Leonardo Da Vinci ever since the 16th century. 

I know, I know - but the family name of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus was Winschki (’W’ pronounced like ‘V’), which Italianated became Vinci - the name of the town Leonardo was from in Italy.  (Leo’s mother’s maiden name was Winschki - his dad’s name was Nardino - so Leo took Leonardo as his nome de plume, if you will - and someone else attached Da Vinci - the “Da” meaning “of” or “from” Vinci in Italian - I forget which.)  Anyway, how the painting came into his possession is still a mystery, and another story entirely, although it could possibly make an interesting book and movie.

The End

(This story is totally fabricated, just like the Da Vinci Code and dissident interpretations of scripture.  You know - like the one about the centurion and his gay-slave-lover he asked Jesus to heal.  As if!) 

Secular press calls the Holy Father the biggest homophobe on the planet…

And yet uber-Catholics post photos like this inviting irreverent and sophomoric comments and captions.  How very, very sad.  Sad, sad, sad - to see unemployed people wasting their vocation and academic achievements on such nonsensical theatrics. 

DO NOT POLITICISE THE HOLY ROSARY!

Have you heard of this?  The “Patriotic Rosary“? 

C’mon!  Just pray the Rosary every day as Our Lady requested at Fatima and as the Church recommends.  Pray for whatever intentions you desire - but don’t try to Americanize it with presidential quotes as meditations.  And don’t call it patriotic.

Example:

The Apostle’s Creed - For the Conversion of our Nation’s Capital

One Our Father - For the Holy Father

Three Hail Mary’s - For Bishops, Priests, Religious

Glory Be - For the Conversion of our Country

The First Mystery:

“No one can rejoice more than I do at every step the people of this great country take to preserve the Union, establish good order and government, and to render the nation happy at home and respectable abroad. No country upon earth ever had it more in its power to attain these blessings than United America. Wondrously strange then, and much to be regretted indeed would it be, were we to neglect the means, and to depart from the road which Providence has pointed us, so plainly; I cannot believe it will ever Come to pass. The great Governor of the Universe has led us too Long and too far on the road to happiness and glory, to forsake us in the midst of it. By folly and improper conduct, proceeding from a variety of causes, we may now and then get bewildered; but I hope and trust that there is good sense and virtue enough left to recover the right path before we shall be entirely lost.” George Washington, June 29, 1788

Our Father - For the Presidency of the United States of America

To be prayed before each hail Mary: “We plead the Blood of Jesus over Alabama (name a different state for each Hail Mary) and every soul in that state.”

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia

For the Conversion of our Country

Glory Be

Oh, my Jesus, forgive us our sins; Save us from the fires of hell; Lead all souls to Heaven, Especially those in most need of Thy Mercy. - Priests For Life  

(Photo:  OL Rosary Cathedral, Toledo.) 

If you have ever been to Rome, you will know what I mean.  Tell me the Sistine Chapel isn’t soft porn!  What is next, an illustrated “Theology of the Body” series, or “The Joys of Theology of the Body”?

(Just trying to get my stats up here!  I only get an average of 255 hits a day, and very few comments.)

[Watch for my upcoming expose on Roman priests.] 

Masons!

I found an interesting interview on Zenit with a Spanish priest’s investigation into Masonry.  (I’ll link to it and post a snippet or two after a few quick anecdotes of my own.)

Certainly, the Masonic influence upon society and politics since the French Revolution must be realized as certain by many knowledgeable Catholics, so I don’t really want to deal with all of that here.  Of course Masons are the bane of conspiracy theorists throughout the world, sede-vacantists, SSPX-ers, as well as neo-Nazis and white supremacists.  (Although, you rarely hear that liberals call people Masons - kidding.)

The cult effect.

Locally, there is a rather charismatic priest who genuinely believes most of the ills in society and the Church are due to the international Masonic conspiracy.  A good deal of his followers seem to agree.  Within those ranks are one or two who claim there are Masons even in the local Church.

One fellow, a PI (private investigator) now retired, suggested that even at one of the most conservative local Catholic parishes, Masons were stalking the sanctuary.  Alas - I quit my job before I could get details.  Intriguing huh?  Of course, people have accused Marcel Lefebvre of being a Mason as well, so it slices both ways.  (Although everyone knows Anibale Bugnini was a Mason.)  I think the nuns who taught me were Masons too, because we used to get tickets for the Shrine Circus.  No wonder Sr. Vivian was such a… 

Years ago I stopped in Chicago with a friend, on our way home after we drove to see JPII in Detroit.  My friend wanted to visit a weeping statue of Our Lady.  It was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.  An old Felician sister was there selling books and religious articles, spouting off about the infamous Cardinal Bernardin.  “He was a Mason!” she said, insisting he was in cahoots with the grand International Conspiracy of Masonic Jewish Bankers.  She was a nasty little woman indeed.  (Although I like the word cahoots.) 

This is really a serious post despite the labels.

(I just don’t want to come off as a conspiracy theorist.) 

Anyway, that’s all I have today on the subject, but here are a couple snips from the article with a link to read the entire thing.  Enjoy!

New Age connection.

Q: Does Masonry substitute itself for religion?

Father Guerra: Masonry, in line with one of its products, the New Age, prefers to use the term “spirituality,” which has a more subjective resonance than the term “religion.”

Some Masons say that they are Christians and deny that Masonry is a religion. They should rather recognize that they belong to two religions: the Catholic one and the Masonic one.

But in fact, at least for many, above all for the Masons who are agnostics and deists, Masonry is a substitute for religion. Indeed, Masonry is called a “religion” and sometimes “the religion” in Masonic writings and those of Masons.

They are everywhere.

Q: Is the famous Masonic conspiracy a myth?

Father Guerra: It is necessary to distinguish between Masonry and the Masons. Masonry, as such, does not aspire to power or at least to having it serve its own principles and interests.

Nevertheless, Masons are in fact present in every international organization in which decisions are made and in the multinational corporations that have an influence on economic and political power.

It is logical to think that they try to pass on their ideological principles — relativism, atheism, gnosticism — wherever they are and to irradiate them beyond their own context. - Zenit

“You can’t handle the truth!” - Jack Nicholson

So what if all of these Protestant converts coming into the Church - well some of them - are really Masons?  Or the Trads - yes the Trads - what if they…Or Fr. Richard McBrien- yeah, he has to be.  (Look for that little Fez thing they wear.)