Abbey-Roads2

“Humility exists only in those who are poor enough to see that they possess nothing of their own.”  - Blessed Angela of Foligno

I actually felt kind of down today because I realized I am not at all humble.  Do you know what St. Therese might say to that?  “You are full of self love!  Pride frets over one’s lack of virtue.” Or she could say something like this to console me, “Learn to rejoice in your defects and offer the humiliation of knowing your imperfections as a sacrifice to Jesus.”

Mother Teresa of Calcutta said humiliations are the stepping stones to humility.  (I must say, for me it’s been a rather rocky road as well.)

Why is humility so important?  “Humility is considered in all Christian tradition as the foundation of the spiritual life, since it removes pride, which is, says Holy Scripture, the beginning of every sin because it separates us from God.”  Garrigou-Lagrange

“Humility is based on truth, especially on the truth that there is an infinite distance between the Creator and the creature.  The more this distance appears to us in a living and concrete manner, the more humble we are.  However lofty the creature may be, this abyss is always infinite; and the higher we ascend, the more evident does this infinite abyss become for us.  In this sense, the highest soul is the most humble, because the most enlightened: the Blessed Virgin Mary is more humble than all the saints, and our Lord is far more humble than His holy Mother.”  - Three Ages of the Interior Life

Yesterday, on another blog, a question was raised as to whether or not there are degrees of glory in heaven.  Indeed there are.  Some saints may be given greater glory than others.  I commented with an anecdote from St. Therese regarding an incident wherein she had trouble understanding the same concept, somehow feeling cheated because of it.  Her sister, Pauline explained it to her by using the example of glasses filled with water.  One glass was smaller than the other, yet both were filled to capacity.  With this analogy, Pauline explained that the glory God gives to souls is proportionate with their capacity to receive.

For my part, I better be more concerned with the degrees of humility on earth than the degrees of glory in heaven.  After all, I can remember only one thing Jesus explicitely instructed us to learn of Him, when he said, “Come to me all of you, and learn of me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” 

I switched on TV this morning to see the Papal Mass in Sao Paolo.  The music was awful…endlessly awful.  It appears the Novus Ordo liturgies are worse in Brazil than they are here - I don’t know, maybe it’s just the ‘Pope-on-the-road-tour’ open-air Masses that seem obnoxious.  I think I was viewing the canonization Mass for Friar Galvao, attended by thousands of Brazilian youth.  I had to turn off the broadcast.  (At Fatima Our Lady said “the Holy Father will have much to suffer.” - I wonder if she meant these Masses?)

How did liturgy get so bad?  And in reference to youth liturgies, why do young people’s Masses have to be so entertaining and novel?  Who decides this crap?

(Sorry, I’m trying to quit smoking again today.  I’ll be better, I just lit up….”I’m doin’ good though…only had two today!”  That’s a line from a song.) 

“it was not you who chose me, but I who chose you…” - John 15

The degrees of humility according to St. Anselm:

I. To acknowledge ourselves contemptible.

II. To grieve on account of this.

III. To admit that we are so.

IV. To desire our neighbor to believe it.

V. Patiently to endure people’s saying it.

VI. Willingly to be treated as a person worthy of contempt.

VII. To love to be treated in this fashion. - Taken from “The Three Ages of the Interior Life.”

(And yet I tell people to mind their own business when correcting me!  I have a long way to go before attaining humility.)

Sabeth

I’m reading Blessed Elizabeth as well.  One of the troubles I have reading sainted Carmelite nun’s writings is that they are sometimes so ‘romantic.’  (Some people say ‘flowery.’  They are ‘girls’ though, so what do I expect?  By the time I get to Teresa of the Andes, I’ve had it however.)

Anyway, I like Elizabeth in her essential writings.  Sometimes quotes from her are just enough.  Here are some:

After confession one day:

“I see myself as though all reddened with the Blood of our Lord.”  (I had the same thought the other day at 3PM when praying the Divine Mercy prayers, I imagined myself covered in the Blood of Jesus, and it was warm.)

In a reference to her being conscientious in her duties, it is recorded she said this:

“You see how that Sister has worn out her habit in a short time?  She does not take care of it: that is not good; would you please tell our Mother this so that she will be told to take better care of it?”  (That statement is one reason I’m unfit for religious life, I would have told her, “Why don’t you mind your own business?”  There is nothing edifying in this comment at all.  When I was with a group of Franciscan friars in Italy, a French novice commented to me as I was going in for the night office, “It would be better if you tucked your shirt in.”  I replied, “It would be better if you minded your own business.”  See - I don’t do well in community.)

On suicide:

“I suffered so much last night that I was tempted to throw myself out the window; but I said to myself: that is not how a Carmelite ought to suffer.”

“My Mother, are you tranquil, leaving me alone like this?  I am suffering so much that I now understand suicide.  but do not worry; God is there, and He is watching over me.”

Like Therese, she also suffered spiritual darkness:

“Oh, my Mother, it is like believing that there is no God!”

Then again:

“If souls but knew how to wait for God.”  (Now that is the gem of the day.)

Spencer Tunick’s work (photos of naked people in public squares) also reminds me of the photos the Nazi’s took of the extermination of Jews, and others, during WWII.  There is no connection - his work just reminded me of this.

Last night, I viewed the tail end of a program on PBS concerning the Inquisition - how Conversos in Spain were burned at the stake for continuing to adhere to Jewish customs.

And yet, the hate continues - and self- assured people seek to justify themselves.

“Nobody will be lost unknowingly.” Our Lord’s words to Teresa of Avila.  She was undergoing fears as to whether or not she was in the state of grace.  (I’ve been told that we can’t really know for sure, we can hope, but we can’t really know for sure…Teresa must have been told this as well.)

Jesus said, “Daughter, light is very different from darkness.  I am faithful.  Nobody will be lost unknowingly.”

But listen to this!

Last week I discussed the graces of contemplative prayer, in this same passage from Teresa’s writings, taken from Magnificat, Our Lord explains the nature of union:

“Don’t think. daughter, that union lies in being very close to me.  For those, too, who offend me are close, although they may not want to be.”  (Did ya get that?)

“Neither does it consist in favors and consolations in prayer, even though these may reach a very sublime degree.  Though these favors may come from me, they are often a means for winning souls that are not in a state of grace.”  - Teresa of Avila

I’m reading some early Thomas Merton stuff - just bits and drabs.  I like Merton, but I never really got into him as many people did.  Some people think he’s a saint, I wouldn’t know.

After my conversion, now decades ago, I was guided to read him, but he scared me.  I thought his ideas of the contemplative life were too “active” - too peace and justice, and he didn’t come off as “pious” enough for my taste.

Now that I am older, much of what he wrote before his Asian adventures makes so much sense to me.  Yet, even back then, though it made sense to me, I preferred the holy card version of monastic life - ecstasies and transports, etc.  I just wanted to pray all day and didn’t really want to work.  I didn’t like living “in the world” and I liked to pray, so I wanted to be a monk.  I imagined I could just pray for people, but otherwise I didn’t want to be bothered by them.  I wanted to be a contemplative.

Sometimes we say we are seeking God, but we are really just seeking ourselves.

Anyway, I find Merton’s practicality helpful.  I honestly do not care what people like Dr. Alice Von Hilderandt say about him, although I really don’t understand the way his monastic life unfolded, or that he fell in love with a nurse; despite his humanness, I’m convinced his early work remains very good.  Carmelites have no problem reading Peter Thomas Rohrbach’s “Conversation With Christ” even though he left the priesthood and married.  But a lot of folks practically make the sign of the cross out of fear, whenever Merton is even mentioned.

His influence was tremendous however - both for the good, and maybe for the bad.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the post-Conciliar dissolution of monasteries and convents could be traced - in some small part  - to the influence of his thought and later writings.  The openness to Oriental mysticism, leading to New Age spiritualities, may have emanated from the Mertonian ‘revolution’.  I’m not a scholar however, so I can’t be sure.

In an introduction of prayers compiled for his novices, Fr. Louis writes well of the practice of prayer, which accords with my own notion of it, as I’ve come to understand it:

“Prayer is an expression of our complete dependence on a hidden and mysterious God.  It is therefore nourished by humility…We should never seek to reach some supposed “summit of prayer” out of spiritual ambition.  We should seek to enter deep into the life of prayer, not in order that we may glory in it as an “acheivement,” but because in this way we can come close to the Lord Who seeks to do us good, who seeks to give us His mercy, and to surround us with His love.  To love prayer is, then, to love our own poverty and His mercy.” - Fr. Louis