Abbey-Roads2

Well, Dr. von Hildebrand might have been talking about her.

A friend, who chose not to comment on my post regarding Dawn Eden sent me an email, with this excerpt from an article written by Dr. von Hildebrand in New Oxford Review earlier this year. (My apologies for the length of the article.)

The Moral Weight of Words.

“ …This leads me to a question which I shall raise, leaving the reader to decide what the better answer is. …. some are convinced that in order to reach young people, one must meet them where they are — that is, use their vocabulary, assume their tastes in music, ape their way of dressing and their mannerisms. They are convinced that this is the way to win over the youth, that this approach does not “scare” them, but makes them “feel at home” and builds bridges. Young people will feel “understood” and will trust the person who does not come to them to preach, to teach, to criticize. This approach is viewed as psychologically wise, and is supposed to open doors that will guarantee the success  …

But there is another approach strongly recommended by Dom Chautard in his priceless book The Soul of the Apostolate, which, although written long ago, has, like all great things, kept its freshness and value. In this work, he relates how a priest — far from handsome — operated “miracles of grace” among the youth in Marseilles. He did not hesitate to appeal to what was best and deepest in them: their longing for God. With very mediocre means, working in very poor conditions, he had none of the modern “tools” that many people believe to be crucial to reach the youth. But he made them aware of their dignity as children of God — a dignity, alas, covered up by sin and a faulty religious education. He awakened in them the sense of the supernatural implanted in them at Baptism. What he disposed of was simple and little, but his love for the souls of the young was so ardent that he touched their hearts and addressed himself to their true self, to the image of God in their souls. He led them back to God and the Sacraments, and several of his young subjects became disciples themselves.

The choice of words in such work is crucial. When referring to her previous life — before she was converted to the beauty of chastity — a young woman appearing on television and addressing millions of viewers, kept saying, “when I was sexually active….” The question that I raise is: Will not her choice of very graphic words inevitably bring to the minds of the viewers images that the phrase “sexually active” triggers? Some words and phrases are unpleasantly suggestive — “sexually active” is definitely among them. How inappropriate to use the same words for animal activities, for sinful behavior, and for the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony. “Sexually active” carries no moral connotation whatsoever. We can suppose that she wished to communicate that she was “off track,” but she failed to do so for the plain reason that the words she chose are morally neutral. How much more powerful her message would have been had she said to millions of her listeners, “I was living in sin”; “I was offending God”; “I was threatening my eternal welfare”; or “I was desecrating a sphere that clearly belongs to God.” All of these clearly indicate a condemnation of an impure act and the understanding that the intimate sphere has a special relationship to God. …

…She meant well, and in spite of what I consider to be a serious flaw, I am sure that she helped many of her listeners. But the fact that someone who is now living in the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony can be so insensitive to these distinctions sheds light on the confusion that is darkening our moral perception.

Let me repeat: The phrase “sexually active” can be applied to the whole gamut of sexual experiences. It can refer to the coupling of animals, to legitimate marriage, and to sinful deeds. I personally would avoid using this phrase to refer to a Catholic marriage. The phrase “marital embrace” is so much more adequate, and has a note of tenderness and reverence noticeably absent in the other.

The words we use when referring to the intimate sphere are particularly revealing: They can express vulgar coarseness or tender respect. There is a four-letter word that is used only by those whose coarseness must make the angels weep; there are “scientific” words which, by the very nature of science, are neutral. (This is why we can go to a physician and speak about very intimate things in a fashion which is in no way offensive to purity.) For Christians — blessed by their belief in the Dogma of the Incarnation — the body has acquired a nobility that calls for an adequate expression. When the Angel Gabriel sent by God asked the sweet holy Virgin to become the mother of His Son, she did not reply, “How is this to be, I have never been sexually active.” Rather, she said, “I know not man.” One could give a whole university course on purity by meditating on these words. …” -NOR

(To my knowledge, Dr. von Hildebraand was NOT referring to Dawn Eden in this piece, but her essay is relevant nevertheless.)

Reading Tanquerey on the subject of chastity, I came across some interesting passages.

Distrust of self:

“This distrust must last to the very end of life.  Solomon was no longer a youth when he let himself be caught by the love of women.  It ws old men who tempted the chaste Suzanna.  The evil spirit that assails us in mature life is all the more dangerous, because we thought him conquered.” - The Spiritual Life

Further on, there is counsel for priests and religious, which more or less surprised me.  If this counsel would have been heeded there may not have been so many who left Holy Orders to get married, nor those who took advantage of kids in recent decades.

The flight from dangerous occasions: 

“The mutual attraction that exists between the sexes creates dangers for those vowed to celibacy.  Hence, useless meetings must be dispensed with, and when meetings are necessary, the danger must be made remote.  This is why the spiritual direction of women must be conducted exclusively in the confessional.  Two things we must protect, our virtue nd our good name.  The one and the other make extreme reserve imperative.”

“Children (or youth) of graceful appearance, of a joyful and affectionate nature, may likewise be a source of danger.  One loves to look at them, to caress them, and, if one be not on guard one may be led to familiarities that perturb the senses.  This disturbance is a warning given us by God, to make us understand that we must desist and that we have proceeded too far.” - The Spiritual Life 

(Art: Detail, Allegory on Chastity, Basilica of St. Francis, Assisi)

Don Marco has a wonderful post on the subject of chastity.

It doesn’t really matter what one’s state in life is, married, single, religious; nor what one’s “orientation” - each of us ought to practice chastity according to our state in life, no matter what the “world, the flesh and the devil” says.

“The chaste person becomes an instrument of peace at home, in the Church, and in society. The unchaste person sows trouble wherever he goes.”  - Vultus Christi